SAH/WOH - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
SAH/WOH - Why?
3166
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:41am

I am sure this has been done before but I was wondering this in light of recent posts lately.

Why did you decide to sah/woh?

Was it a choice or something expected of you?

Was your plan to sah/woh though out or impulsive? Long-term or short-term?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 9:30pm

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Yes, I am. I live in a small New England town of about 20,000. The kids in a particular grade number around 250 to 300. Parents know each other. Without having official meetings about it, there's more or less a common standard about things like whether or not to get them a car, at what ages, how to manage the weekend party scene, curfews, supervision, and so on. It's helpful to be doing more or less what others are doing. If someone stands out, they stand out because that's the way they want it. The other kids see the difference between what's typical and what's a little out there. The next new thing doesn't automatically come online for everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 10:08pm
Well there is your difference. I live in an area that branches out over 7 or 8 small towns and cities.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 10:13pm
No But I would probably buy one. BTW I wasn't necessarily talking about myself. To be quite honest it isn't environmental or anything else related to that for me. It is convienence. If my DH and I want to buy our children a car we will do just that. If we chose to purchase a brand new sports car or a 5 yr old sedan that is exactly what we will do. If you want your children to ride the bus or catch a ride with a friend by all means do. Just like if one parent wants to buy their child designer clothes or clothes from WalMart...again personal choice. It is really no one else's business. That is why I could care less what another parents buys or doesnt buy their children.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 10:22pm
Here's a real-life example of parents getting together and being on the same page. I have a nephew that graduated from our high school a couple of years ago. Anyway, in our town the festivities for graduating seniors last a couple of weeks when factoring in their trip to Disneyworld. My nephew asked his parents if, after the prom, he could take off to some designated place overnight a couple of hours away. His parents said no way. The nephew tried to convince his parents that other parents were allowing this. Parents know each other around here; and they talked. Turned out that all the parents felt the same way. Needless to say nobody went on the overnight. So, yes, parents do get on the same page from time to time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 10:34pm
You are talking about a small group of friends that were wanting to go away after the prom. We are talking about things we want to buy for our children. That is a big difference.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 10:36pm
Not really. The concept is the same; the circumstances are different. You are splitting hairs. And how do you know how many kids I was talking about?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 10:56pm
No I am not splitting hairs at all. Should parents discuss matters when their children want to go away without parental supervision? Sure. Should parents discuss as a group if they will buy their children cars, or designer clothes? Ummm I don't think so. What we chose to buy or not buy shouldn't be dependent on someone's else's ability or inability to do.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 11:16pm
The question was should parents consult each other on certain things. I was giving an example of how they do. It doesnt' matter what the 'thing' is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Thu, 03-09-2006 - 6:35am

Are you honestly suggesting that parents should be together on whether as a community they should buy their kids cars or not?

Gosh, I hope she's not, but if so, sign me up for the "Don't care if the community is outraged that we bought John a car" team. Cuz I didn't then and don't know. Buy their kids cars; don't buy their kids cars--it's all the same to me either way. But keep their noses out of what we did because it's none of their business.

As I have said to John far too many times over the years, "So what if other people are doing it/not doing it? If they all jumped off a bridge would you do that, too?" Seems like the "community of parents" needs to start reviewing their own object lessons.

Karen


"Terry manages to hand the bag off to Ruth Marie, who takes off in the most mincing sprint you have ever seen in your life. She does her best, but she runs like she's got a pink parasol in one hand and an inhaler in the other."


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Survivor: Exile Island



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Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Thu, 03-09-2006 - 6:37am

Perhaps there are times they should (debatable), but when it comes to buying a teen a car, I dont' think the community has any business nosing in on the decision, unless they're being asked to pony up for the payments.

Butt out .

Karen


"Terry manages to hand the bag off to Ruth Marie, who takes off in the most mincing sprint you have ever seen in your life. She does her best, but she runs like she's got a pink parasol in one hand and an inhaler in the other."


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Survivor: Exile Island



Image hosting by PhotobucketImage hosting by PhotobucketImage hosting by Photobucket

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

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