SAH/WOH - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
SAH/WOH - Why?
3166
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:41am

I am sure this has been done before but I was wondering this in light of recent posts lately.

Why did you decide to sah/woh?

Was it a choice or something expected of you?

Was your plan to sah/woh though out or impulsive? Long-term or short-term?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:27am
Gee, I'd like to know how you did that.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:29am
I don't understand how you could always hold him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:43am

Maybe it's the size thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:47am

I'm pretty sure standard shopping carts and standard car seats "click in" fairly securely.

Mondo

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:55am

Well, considering that you had no idea what natural and logical consequences were, and couldn't think of any other discipline methods I might be using besides time-outs and spanking, I don't think it's very likely that's your parenting style. And I didn't say you would spank a child for not wearing a coat. I explained what a parent who uses natural and logical consequences would do if the child didn't want to wear a coat. You didn't know what that meant.

From what I've read in this thread, I think your parenting style sounds very authoritarian--you punish your kids if they don't follow your rules. Using natural and logical consequences require a different mindset.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:56am
And good luck with telling your kids what to do when they're teens. I hope that works for you.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:02am
Good for him (and you)! How old is your ds? My biggest challenge with using this method as my kids get older is that sometimes it's hard for me to let them fail. But I know it's better for them to learn these things the hard way now than when they're teens or adults.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:06am
Well then you haven't been reading my posts at all. Yes we are our children's ultimate authority. I don't see anything wrong with that at all. If you don't have authority in your household you will have your hands full when they are teenagers. We rarely have behavioral issues so you concept of how we run our house is way off base. BTW I do know what consequences are and I do understand natural and logical consequences do. However if my child did say I don't want to wear my coat and it is freezing outside. She would be puttin gon her coat whther she liked it or not. You can let your child go out without a coat to teach her a lesson. I however wouldn't do that. I would tell her that she needed to wear her coat in order to go someplace. If she did't put it on she wouldn't go outside.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:12am
I have no doubt that telling my teens what to do will work. Taking away the phone, car, tv, and social outings at that age work wonders.

 

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:12am

I don't think there is any justification for spanking - but I also don't think parents are perfect (or have to be) or that spanking is the even the worst thing parents can do."

Well of course parents don't have to be perfect, thankfully! And of course there are worse things than spanking. Verbal abuse can be worse, and there are other forms of abuse that I won't even go into....Neglect can also be worse. But we arent comparing shades of "worse" when it comes to what's "best" for our kids. At least I didnt think we were!

" For better and, sometimes, worse, parent-child relationships are unique and incredibly lasting."

Yes even the children of serial killers love their parents. I read an article by the child of the green river killer a while back...(and no I'm not comparing a psycopath to a Joe average good parent who happends to spank)...so to your point....parents can do hellish things and their children will often still love them.

" Of all the things my dad did to my sisters and I when we were growing up, the spankings are not the most hurtful memories at all."

Yes, I'm with you on that. My parents didnt spank me at all, ever. I have an awful relationship with my dad that has nothing to do with discipline.

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