SAH/WOH - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
SAH/WOH - Why?
3166
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:41am

I am sure this has been done before but I was wondering this in light of recent posts lately.

Why did you decide to sah/woh?

Was it a choice or something expected of you?

Was your plan to sah/woh though out or impulsive? Long-term or short-term?

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 8:48pm

"Nice spin. Do you really think her mother would have told her to grab her coat in the first place if it weren't necessary? I doubt it. Her child was challenging her. She allowed that challenge. The child was cold until the outing was over. That is not how we handle things. My child has no business being outside when a coat is necessary. So if there isn't a coat on, then you aren't going outside. They are just kids ya know?"

I guess this is going to come as a shock to you, but I don't tell my kids what to wear. They're 6 and 9, and I expect them to be able to figure that out for themselves.

I don't get into challenges with my kids when I'm using natural and logical consequences. That's the beauty of it. The child experiences the consequence and has nobody to blame but himself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 8:51pm
My children arent that age. They are 4 and 6. So that isn't shocking to me.

 

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:02pm

I won't give my kids an unsafe choice, but that doesn't mean the consequence they get from making an unsafe choice isn't the natural consequence of their actions. As I said, using non-punitive methods of discipline takes a lot more thought.

I don't think you really understand what authoritarian is. Of course I'm an authority figure to my kids. But my goal isn't to get my kids to do what I want them to do. My goal is to get them to learn to make responsible choices on their own. That's why I don't focus on telling them what to do like you do.

You've been saying all along that your kids do what you tell them, or they get punished. So it's pretty clear to me why they do what you tell them.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:06pm
We both have a 6-yr-old. Both my kids have been dressing themselves for a long time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:07pm
The point is that although spanking and slapping are not remotely as severe as other forms of abuse, they are nevertheless abuse.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:08pm
What if he didn't? Would you really keep him home from school?
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:11pm
The things I do that my kids can't do don't involve physical harm to anyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:12pm
To tell a child he or she isn't allowed to discipline somebody else will make about as much sense to the child as telling him or her not to hit when you've hit them yourself. Children tend to imitate us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:13pm
Hitting cannot compare to drinking or smoking or other things adults do. It's not a question of authority but one of teaching. If we don't want our kids to drink or smoke, we don't let them see us drink or smoke. And if we don't want them to hit others we don't hit them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:14pm
But not things that hurt another person.

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