SAH/WOH - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
SAH/WOH - Why?
3166
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:41am

I am sure this has been done before but I was wondering this in light of recent posts lately.

Why did you decide to sah/woh?

Was it a choice or something expected of you?

Was your plan to sah/woh though out or impulsive? Long-term or short-term?

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:17pm

I don't see where you've answered my question above. You just insisted your child wouldn't do that. This is a hypothetical. What would you do?

Yes, I would let my child go to school without her coat in 20-degree weather. I think that most likely, she would make it as far as the car before deciding to go back and get her coat. But if she didn't, I would let her go to school that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:17pm
By your logic, then the child should be free to think he can hit others when he's old enough to. What is the use of teaching a child that behaviors that are off limits between adults and between adults and children who aren't their children are somehow okay between parents and their children? That this is a special, privileged form of violence or hitting that is acceptable because of the authority of a parent over a child and in no other situation other than self-defense? Makes no sense to me at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:29pm
Let's see if I get this right. You tell your child not to hit his friends because it's wrong to hit and they won't like him if he does. That his friends' parents will get mad. That he can be suspended at school. Arrested for assault when he gets older. That people are not for hitting. That it's not right to hit other people. You might tell him to tell you if someone, a child or an adult, ever hits him. But that just because your relationship with him is special, and you love him so much, hitting is okay between the two of you. And only if you hit him, not if he hits you. Sorry, but this is nonsensical.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:32pm

....

Sorry I think you misunderstand. I dont feel like a failure. If I felt that the only way to get my kids attention was to hit them, I *would* feel like a failure. I dont need to hit my kids. Ever.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:34pm

Uh no I didnt have to take the poll. Your link brought up the results.

I was asking an honest question about it. I didnt see where they developed special guidelines, only that they refused to make it illegal because they didnt consider it child abuse. I saw nothing that said they consulted experts. Which is why I asked you-I admitted I only skimmed it.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:37pm
I'd let her go to school that way, too. Not even worth raising my voice about. If she's in her right mind at all, she'll figure it out eventually.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:37pm

Exactly. And they like to use the stupid *spare the rod* adage which has NOTHING to do with disciplining one's children. That was not what that phrase in the bible referred to.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:38pm

I wouldnt smoke in front of my kids and then tell them not to either though. Even though its legal to smoke, I still think its wrong.

There are plenty of things adults *can* do that kids cant. Doesnt make it right, doesnt mean they should.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:40pm

I agree. And I dont understand why a parent would be willing to take the risk.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2006
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 9:42pm

So where is a study or statistic to back up anything in your entire post? I thought you insisted upon having research to back up a claim in order to participate in a debate? Or are you exempt from the standards with which you hold other posters to?

Because seriously, if all you have to back up your claim is that you "just dont believe it", then I "just *do* belive" my kids would turn out different if I put them in FT othercare (discalimer: not implying worse here, just different)

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