SAH/WOH - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
SAH/WOH - Why?
3166
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:41am

I am sure this has been done before but I was wondering this in light of recent posts lately.

Why did you decide to sah/woh?

Was it a choice or something expected of you?

Was your plan to sah/woh though out or impulsive? Long-term or short-term?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:04pm

My 14yo had that lesson today. After losing THREE pairs of expensive (over $25) gloves, and then borrowing MY expensive gloves without asking (and almost ruining them by leaving them soaking wet in the garage for 2 days), I picked her up a pair of cheap gloves. I told her I was no longer going to buy nice gloves because I was tired of replacing them. She wore the cheap gloves snowboarding today and was complaining that they were *crap* because her hands got cold. I was like "Oh well. Maybe you should save your babysitting money and buy some nice ones...."

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:05pm
So then I guess you can't drive a car. Since you tell them they can't drive then ut oh...you are in trouble. You really see a problem with a child seeing you have a glass of wine with dinner?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:06pm
What?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:07pm

There are three basic types of parenting modes. Authoritarian, authoritive, and permissive. Both authoritarian and permissive have shown to be the least effective. Authoritive has shown to be the most effective.

The difference between authoritarian and authoritive is that the first is more of a *my way or the highway* type of parent. The second is a parent who establishes firm rules and guidelines, but allows for flexibility and negotiation-and allows their child to have a voice. This has proven to be the most consistently effective style of parenting.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:09pm
There are loads of things only ok between child and parent. I can honestly say that I don't want my son walking out of someone elses bathroom naked after a shower. He can at home but not at his friends house. Lots of things the list is long.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:10pm
I don't feel like spanking is the only way to get my children's attention either. So what is your point?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:19pm

A child who repeatedly breaks away from their parents should be in a stroller, cart, etc. If the parents *know* that their child is the type of kid to *run for it* they should be taking preventative measures that limit the risk of the child bolting as much as possible.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 10:20pm

My point is if there are other ways to get their attention, you shouldnt need to use it.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 11:11pm
I'm sorry, I know I said we'd agree to disagree but at least admit spanking is hitting.
If you spank, you are hitting your child...by definition.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 11:14pm
Absolutely agree. Humiliation is really one of the worst things we can do to another. People kill eachother over less. Humiliation is really awful and I wouldnt want to risk humiliating my child by spanking them. I don't think most parents who spank do so to a level that is actually physically harmful. But its emotionally potentially very harmful. And one of the key reasons is humiliation.

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