SAH/WOH - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
SAH/WOH - Why?
3166
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:41am

I am sure this has been done before but I was wondering this in light of recent posts lately.

Why did you decide to sah/woh?

Was it a choice or something expected of you?

Was your plan to sah/woh though out or impulsive? Long-term or short-term?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:09pm

I don't think "spanking is good for my kids."

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:10pm

I don't think I ever said anything about kids never needing adult assistance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:10pm
It wasn't always possible to park the car that close.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:10pm

Don't know


Not always


No

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:11pm
I was replying to pnj's specific situation. I didn't realize my post had to answer every possibility out there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:12pm
My kids don't argue about coats, but neither of them is old enough to decide if they will be most comfortable in a short sleeve shirt, turtleneck or turtleneck plus long sleeved shirt.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:13pm

"If spanking had been illegal, I would simply have left Joey home 100% of the time for a year, regardless of the inconvenience to me."

How often did he run away from you and how often was he spanked for running away?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:14pm
A handful of times (fewer than 5 by me).

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:16pm

I wouldn't say mine ever "fought" wearing a coat. I didn't make a big deal of it. My 6-yr-old occasionally dresses inappropriately for the weather. She came downstairs Saturday wearing a skirt, no tights, and a short-sleeved shirt. I didn't say a word. She put on a coat as we were going out the door, but I could tell her legs were cold. When we got home, she went upstairs and put on jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. I never said anything to her about it.

I haven't had to deal with the shoe thing. If it happened and I thought it was a safety issue for them to go shoeless, I guess I'd come up with another consequence. If they wanted to go out in their bare feet to play in the snow, I might let them try it. My guess is they'd be putting shoes on in two seconds. When you're not trying to make kids do something, they don't have much incentive to be stubborn and make themselves miserable. If a particular consequence is going to inconvenience *me* (having to stay home whem I don't want to, for example), or the consequence is unsafe, I just come up with a different consequence.

I think snoopyme's method is a consequence, too, but it's not the one I would use in that circumstance because I'd rather my kids be responsible for making their own decision about when they need a coat. A three-yr-old can figure out that he's cold--so can a younger kid. That consequence also doesn't work when you really have to be somewhere--it only works when you're going somewhere the child wants to go. But if it worked for you, that's great.

Using natural and logical consequences does require getting over your embarassment at other people thinking you're a negligent parent for stuff like not insisting your child wear a coat. That's not so hard for me, maybe because I know so many people who use this method of discipline. I don't worrry about it at school, because the school uses this method too. For instance, if dd forgets her homework, her teacher doesn't expect (or want) me to rush over to school with it. She gets a late mark and has to find time to do it over during the day. That has happened exactly once this year. DD doesn't want to do homework twice, so now she puts it in her backpack as soon as she finishes it at night. What's harder for me is that sometimes you have to let your kid fail, rather than nagging them to do something. I have to really work on that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:17pm

I was probably being a bit too confusing.

Pages