SAH/WOH - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
SAH/WOH - Why?
3166
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:41am

I am sure this has been done before but I was wondering this in light of recent posts lately.

Why did you decide to sah/woh?

Was it a choice or something expected of you?

Was your plan to sah/woh though out or impulsive? Long-term or short-term?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:35pm
How on earth did I miss that gem?! One of my favorites is "Sweden is a socialist country". Uh, yea, right....let's just ignore the fact that it has a monarch and a democratically elected government.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:36pm

I think this is one of the biggest differences between our parents and DH and I - we admit our mistakes to our kids and apologize for them. We both grew up with an abusive parent and have had alot to re-learn about parenting. And we're far from perfect - but we *always* talk about why we were upset or why we yelled and we apologize when we are wrong. The other day, DH yelled at our DD and then a few minutes later explained to her why he was upset and apologized for yelling at her. She said "That's okay, daddy". And I though it was a good moment - not only did DH do the right thing by apologizing, but DD got to be forgiving.

I think forgiveness would have come much faster and more completely for me had my parents been more willing to admit their mistakes and recognize the impact on us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:37pm
Weird question, but...how far does the law go? What if someone needs to pump gas? Do they have to take a baby or toddler out, thus potentially exposing them to the risks of the street and exposure to gasoline fumes? If the parent is still touching the car is it ok?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:37pm
I'm really trying, but I fail to see the difference between making the child sit in a stroller in a parking lot if they try to run, and telling them they can't go outside if they don't wear a coat.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:39pm

And I dont' mean to down-play spanking, although I suppose I do. But I can remember many a time when my sisters and I were slightly older (our dad never physically abused us once we were close to puberty) that we wished he would just spank us and get it over with. The alternatives were much worse.

On one hand, I would like my kids to have nothing but happy memories, but OTOH, that is not realistic. Learning to forgive your parents for being human and even downright wrong sometimes is part of growing up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:39pm
That's why you're a nicer mother than I am. If my child needs a day to "slow down" or regroup or something, she can do it at school. I would kill to re-live a simple day of First Grade ~ and unfortunately for my DD, she hears this from me quite often.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:40pm
We have natural consequences. I don't think of it as "punishment". Our goal is to change future behavior not punish past behavior.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:41pm
They can (actually have to) stay in the car while pumping, but if you don't pay at the pump you must take them into the store to pay.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:44pm

"No there really is no need for bread at dinner. It is a choice. I think green beans or peas are a much better choice. One doesn't need bread at any meal."

Actually, peas might not be a "better" choice than whole grain bread. Peas contain quite a few simple carbs. Green beans would be a much better choice. Our nutritionist said not all veggies are the same- carrots, peas and corn (not really a veggie) are on the "go easy" list of veggies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:45pm

16? That's ridiculous ... While I won't leave ds (5.5) alone in the car, I will leave dd (9.5) for very short periods of time (put the cart away, etc). She's big enough, smart enough, old enough, and "trained" enough to scream bloody murder adn fight back at anyone that comes near the car ...

16? Geesh, we *drive* at 16, but can't be alone in a car the day before ...

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