SAH/WOH - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
SAH/WOH - Why?
3166
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:41am

I am sure this has been done before but I was wondering this in light of recent posts lately.

Why did you decide to sah/woh?

Was it a choice or something expected of you?

Was your plan to sah/woh though out or impulsive? Long-term or short-term?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:16pm

I wouldn't hit him back. How can you teach someone that hitting is wrong by hitting him?

"WWYD if your child walked up to you and hit you?"

Well, I've never experienced my child just coming up to me a hitting me out of the blue. In the past, when they have hit me it has been as a result of being very angry and losing control. If my child hits me, I ask him to stop. Remind him of our number one house rule "treat people the way we would like to be treated". Find out why he hit me. If he is out of control, we "take it outside" - frequently his room. Then I teach him how to calm down on his own. (Counting backwards from 20, breathing in and out slowly, talking things through....) My almost 9 year old still does get angry from time to time, but will calm himself down- I can't remember the last time he hit. My almost 7 year old used to be Mr.Free and Easy however, lately has had meltdowns- so we are still teaching him ways to calm himself down. We practice telling people that we are upset rather than hitting and throwing things. We practice ways to calm down, like counting backwards, going for a walk.....

How do you teach your children not to hit you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:18pm

Roflmao.

Me too. Me too.

Hell, I picked out my 5 yo's clothes and unbuttoned his pajamas. And even carried his backpack into school for him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:20pm

I'd never leave a child under the age of about 5 in a car, unlocked or lock, alone, even if I was only 5-6 spaces away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:21pm
Amen!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:24pm
Right. I didn't realize it was a private post. My bad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:29pm
ITA!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:30pm

But if the child is 9, then she's not similarly exposed to the risks that the under-5 set is? (You said you'll leave your 9 yr-old in the car for a few seconds.)

I don't know about you, but I've read in the newspaper where even *adults* are carjacked and then physically assaulted or murdered. So, I don't think a few years is going to help. I'm one who uses the remote car lock to "protect" my child so I can return the shopping cart. I did it again this morning, as a matter of fact.

What do you advise we do? Just be irresponsible and leave the carts in the aisles and parking spaces? To me, that's paranoia.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:34pm

Yeah, my 8 y.o. still asks me in the morning..do I need stockings or socks today. She just puts on what I tell her. My youngest does not like me picking out her clothes. So, I pick out 3 outfits and she gets to choose.

Natural consequences in some areas can useful (like when my 8 y.o. forgets her homework, I do not run it up to school. She gets a quiet recess) but not for everything. I have a friend who uses NC as the only discipline tool and it is scary. She does not childproof andything and her kids get to make most of their own decisions. IMO only, I think it is too much for children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:41pm

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We're all exposed to the same risks, but with age and maturity we are better able to remediate/minimize those risks. My 9yo is mature enough to be aware of her surroundings and watch for dangers (strangers approaching the car, etc). I, at 34yo, am mature enough to do that. My 5yo isn't.

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Was there any implication that I didn't use my locks?

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Why would I suggest that? And why would you have any reason to suspect that I would suggest that? My suggestion ... avoid the risks where you can, minimize them where you can, and live with the knowledge that you can't always do either. In this specific scenario, there are lots of choices as an alternative to leaving a young child alone in a car 1) don't take the child in the first place, 2) take the child to the cart return with you, 3) park right next to the cart return, 4) have an employee carry your stuff out, or sure 5) dont' return the cart (although I wouldn't ever do that .. its one of my HUGE pet peeves) ... that's just a few (not all will fit everyone -- standard debate disclaimer here)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:42pm

Same is true here, very fickle weather.

PumpkinAngel

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