SAH/WOH - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
SAH/WOH - Why?
3166
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:41am

I am sure this has been done before but I was wondering this in light of recent posts lately.

Why did you decide to sah/woh?

Was it a choice or something expected of you?

Was your plan to sah/woh though out or impulsive? Long-term or short-term?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:06pm

Do you really think a 9 yr-old sitting in the back seat of an otherwise empty, unlocked car while you return your cart has any chance against a determined carjacker? I sure don't.

And your 5 suggestions:

<<2) take the child to the cart return with you,>> That's less safe than my method.

<<4) have an employee carry your stuff out,>> How would that help anything?? Even if I could remove an employee from his normal job.

<<5) dont' return the cart (although I wouldn't ever do that .. its one of my HUGE pet peeves)>> It's a pet peeve of mine too, it's irresponsible and I just can't get myself worked up enough into such a paranoid froth. Sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:07pm

True enough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:10pm
You misunderstood. Only 2 punishment methods have been labeled potentially humiliating. So I'm still unclear who you think are "some people" who have a holier than thou attitude. Care to share?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:13pm

Um, I guess you're busy at work or something. But where did I say anything about a harness being humiliating?

Or maybe you think it's "humiliating?" Because then I don't understand your earlier "Amen!" to CM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:19pm

I'm not understanding why *your* panties are in a bunch, since I'm not talking about you, but I will play anyways.

One example... how a bad parenting choice would be to tell a child that they can't go outside if they don't wear their coat, because somehow that is not a logical consequence and is authoritarian. But the counterpoint examples, that are somehow the "good" parenting choices, are things like making the child sit in a stroller if they try to run, or taking away guitar lessons if they don't practice... things that are not any more logical, and not any less "authoritarian" than the original example. There's a whole lot of people who think their way is the right way and any other way is damaging to children. It's an obnoxious viewpoint, and it's holier-than-thou.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:24pm

My own kids figured out pretty quickly that even if I were to hit them, I wasn't going to hit them hard enough to really deter them from what they wanted to do. My little Houdini, you would have had to hit him hard enough to injure him to deter him from running away. The chase would have been part of the game, and he would have had so much fun he would have gladly exchanged the fun for a coupla swats on the rear end. You HAD to deter him from running away in the first place. I think I only used the harness in places like airports and sports arenas where they could get lost in crowds really, really easily.

What finally cured Houdini was one day we were at the mall and I was in no particular hurry....he was around, oh, I don't know, two and a half? three? and he worked his way out of the stroller and took off like a bat out of you know where. I knew just where we has wanting to go -- this toy store that had this huge Thomas train layout that kids love to play with. He makes a beeline and I follow behind, just far enough behind that I was sorta lost in the crowd. I could see people concerned about this little kid and then see me following behind. Took him around ten minutes to go from one end of the mall to the other, me following behind sorta unseen. He doesn't even look back to see if I am following. He get to the toy store, goes in, and plays for a good 45 minutes with me watching from a hidden place inside. He doesn't even care I am not with him. Finally, though, he starts looking up anxiously from time to time, like, "Hey, where's Mom." I waited for the chin to quiver and the tears to start before I rescued him and we talked about how dangerous it is for little boys to run away. It sunk in. We had very little problem with roaming after that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:26pm

Unlocked car? Where'd you get any earthly idea the car would be unlocked? Why did you ASSUME *I* would leave a car unlocked and you wouldn't? Assuming I'm stupid? Nahh, sorry. You won't get me there.

And who is in a paranoid froth?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:28pm
So things are only humiliating if you say they are? The point, which you so conveniently ignored, is that to some children, being in a harness would be humiliating. To some it wouldn't. Just as to some children, being spanked would be humiliating and to some it wouldn't. You can't play the "it would humiliate the kid" card for spanking only, when it clearly can apply to other scenarios, such as harnesses.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:29pm
I think we're working with one of those special board definitions. You know the way you can have a job but if you don't use paid daycare you're really a SAHM? I think the board definition of spanking is like that, too. If you hit anybody but your own kids, it's hitting. If you hit your own kids, it's not hitting. Because here, words mean whatever you want them to mean.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:30pm

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Certainly it's a choice, however you said the others were more healthy.

PumpkinAngel

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