SAH/WOH - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
SAH/WOH - Why?
3166
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:41am

I am sure this has been done before but I was wondering this in light of recent posts lately.

Why did you decide to sah/woh?

Was it a choice or something expected of you?

Was your plan to sah/woh though out or impulsive? Long-term or short-term?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:33pm
LOL, my dds ask for my wine constantly. If I didn't drink it, they wouldn't ask. Don't you know by now that kids imitate what we think, do and say?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:34pm
Well.. perhaps the question is, why would it be? I'm no expert, I only know that it's not a problem here. The only kids I've had to talk to about hitting are kids who are visiting. I've also never had my kid tell me to go to my room, or tell me it's time for me to go to bed, or any other of the things that I as a parent do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:38pm
Well I think losing control and smacking your child is creeping. See it is just a difference of opinion. Nothing more nothing less.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:39pm
LMAO...That would concern me. My children are 4 and 6 and I don't even think they care what we are drinking. I haven't had them ask us for our wine glass ever. No wonder you worry that your child will spank another child if you spanked her.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:42pm
If you are watching you weight that is the go easy carbs. My children aren't.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:44pm

Why would it be? Think about it. We spank our kids because we have an impulse to do it. We get mad, we tell ourselves the pain or the shock or whatever will impress something important upon them. It's a very primitive, basic reaction because a lot of us have some aggression within us.

Well, kids do too. Lots of aggression, some of them. And they're not better than us at handling it. Worse, in fact. If you demonstrate to your kid that hitting is an acceptable part of a person's behavioral repertoire, even if you like to think he gets it that it's only under very specific circumstances, or within a certain relationship, or whatever, then the kid is likely to figure he can under certain circumstances do it too. And when the impulse comes over him, how likely do you think he is to have the wherewithal to consider carefully if it's the right person, the right time, just cause, etc.? No, he's going to hit, just like we did.

And if he does hit, say at school or at a friend's house, or even at home, who can blame him for being a little confused about whether this is okay? After all, someone he loves very much showed him how.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:46pm
So basically you are saying that if your child walked up to you and smacked you in the face that absolutely nothing would happen? What is the natural consequence of being smacked in the face by your child? Is that a better way of phrasing the question?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:46pm
Like I said, kids do what we do, sooner or later. Usually, it's a good thing. Except when we're indulging in junk behavior.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:48pm
Of course it's a difference of opinion. But lots of people and institutions, whole countries even, have gotten away from spanking. There must be some good reasons why.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:50pm

I am confused. Didn't you say:

If we don't want our kids to drink or smoke, we don't let them see us drink or smoke.

So you DO let them see you drink. So why don't you let her have some wine? Isn't that YOUR natural consequence for letting your DD see you drink wine?

 

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