SAH/WOH - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
SAH/WOH - Why?
3166
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:41am

I am sure this has been done before but I was wondering this in light of recent posts lately.

Why did you decide to sah/woh?

Was it a choice or something expected of you?

Was your plan to sah/woh though out or impulsive? Long-term or short-term?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:51pm
Ok, I guess you've decided not to respond to anything I put forth. That's fine, but I'm not going to attempt to have a discussion if my points are going to be put by the wayside.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:51pm

****And if he does hit, say at school or at a friend's house, or even at home, who can blame him for being a little confused about whether this is okay? After all, someone he loves very much showed him how.***

So according to your theory here. If your DD goes to a friends house and gets bombed drinking all the wine in the house it will be understandable? Someone she loved showed her how to drink wine.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:54pm
She is too busy trying to figure out how to get out of my post 807.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 6:02pm
I do let her have a little wine, now that she's 16. The 13yo has to wait.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 6:06pm

Okay, I'll do this properly, or try to ;-)

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Because kids are primates: monkey see, monkey do.

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Maybe not yet. But your kids are smart enough not to pick on someone much bigger.

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Where do you think they picked up those bad habits?

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That's because you do a lot of things they have no interest in doing. Seeing you brush your teeth may or may not inspire them to do it themselves. At least not on a regular basis. But, being human, they might and probably will get the urge to hit somebody sometime. That's when you'll see how much they've learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 6:10pm
No, it will be a big problem. She hasn't seen me drink to excess. She hasn't seem me help myself to refreshments at others' houses without being offered. And she wouldn't drink without permission since she's under age.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 6:12pm
Well, we'll see. A swat on the bottom is a swat on the bottom, I don't consider it hitting. I haven't had to spank Charles since he's been old enough to understand consequences. My 2yo still gets a swat if she tries to climb in the fishtank, or something like that. Since you obviously never spanked, a swat isn't meant to hurt, it is meant as an attention getter. I don't agree with the bend over the knee, spanking as punishment type of spanking. I don't think pain as punishment is effective, nor should it be used. But apparently many many many people can't tell the difference, and apparently it is creepy that I can. I can live with that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 6:16pm
It only happened once and I did give her a pat on the bottom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 6:18pm
The same way that I do by the weather forecast. Before they watched it themselves I told them what to expect.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 6:20pm

So when you spank your kid, it isn't at all painful? Are you sure? It only gets their attention? Better than anything else you can think of? IMO, there's enough doubt there to make me want to avoid it. I have so far. Unfortunately, the older they get, the more they can provoke you. And the more ridiculous it is to think about doing it.

There are those who think the worst think about spanking isn't the lesson it teaches about violence or pseudo-violence or "something leading up to violence". That the problem with it is the violation of someone's physical integrity, their right to determine how and when and by whom they'll be touched. That's more my leaning. I don't think the occasional swat on the backside is the end of the world. I just think it's parental junk behavior, not the greatest parenting. Nobody's perfect, so no big deal. What I don't understand is "spanking on principle" - the idea that it's a great part of an overall approach.

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