SAH/WOH - Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
SAH/WOH - Why?
3166
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:41am

I am sure this has been done before but I was wondering this in light of recent posts lately.

Why did you decide to sah/woh?

Was it a choice or something expected of you?

Was your plan to sah/woh though out or impulsive? Long-term or short-term?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:26pm
If the car is outside nothing wrong with leaving the doors open. Carbon monoxide is only an issue when the car is in a closed area. Many times I have left my car running because it is cold. I have left a door open so that I could hear if my child was crying or calling my name.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:27pm
You should allow the natural consequence, of letting that fish tank fall on her on the floor. Pray that the broken glass doesn't stab her and kill her. If she survives then she gets to clean all that up. That would be the natural consequence.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:36pm

I do get it that you're not necessarily mad when you swat the kid(s). I just don't get why, being not mad, you tend to choose (or have at times chosen) to spank (swat, love pat, etc.). Probably it's just that you consider spanking or swatting as good an approach as any other.

I agree that you can't explain it's dangerous, but I don't see how swatting her teaches her that. At that age, anything you do only lets her know you don't want her to do it, and not why. I used to just remove them from the situation and let them know it was a no-no. I'm not convinced raising your voice or swatting drives home that message any better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:38pm
You're right, nobody has actually advocated spanking as the centerpiece of their child rearing. But in a world where people try so hard to do the right thing wrt breastfeeding, car seats, and a thousand other things, I'm surprised to see support for spanking, even as a once in a while thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:41pm

Not such a bad assumption. If kids never saw anyone hit, far fewer of them would do it, don't you think? They must have seen it somewhere.

A few years ago there was an Ann Landers on this topic. She reported that in a national survey, well over 90% of all parents acknowledged spanking. They spanked their kids at just a few months old, gradually increasing to age 7 or so, then tapering off. By the time they were 12 very few kids were spanked.

But it seems to me that if you have to spank your kid for 7, 8, 9, 10 years, it can't be very effective. Lots of hard work, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:45pm

***If kids never saw anyone hit, far fewer of them would do it, don't you think? They must have seen it somewhere.***

They can see it anywhere. Television, other kids, anywhere. I know children that hit that haven't been spanked. My brother's wife has a sister. She never spanks and had a real hard time with her oldest son hitting other children. He hit kids and wasn't spanked. So he learned it elsewhere.

***But it seems to me that if you have to spank your kid for 7, 8, 9, 10 years, it can't be very effective. Lots of hard work, too.***

Just like with any other discipline. If not used properly nothing is effective.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:50pm

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That's my point. If you have no idea about my WM, then stop posting as if you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:50pm

I'm sure kids have ample opportunity to see violent behavior. That's why I don't understand why one would model it at home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:52pm

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I tend to agree with that. But don't see that that leads to "his/her parents must spank".

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:52pm
Well, I only have to convince her, not you, LOL! It seems to work fine. I'm not convinced that using a swat on the butt as one form of discipline will do anything negative. It keeps her out of the fish tank. Removing her from the situation only means she won't do it while she's not in the room with it. By giving her a real consequence to her action, she knows it is something she is not allowed to do.

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