Scenario
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| Sat, 12-06-2003 - 11:17am |
Well picture this scenario and tell me if you think it's appropriate for this mother to stay home-
As a single and childless woman, she always lived frugally, and worked hard. He is the same way- both the husband and wife manage to get out of debt and save up a few thousand dollars by the time they meet. They date for a couple years (or whatever amount of time YOU think is reasonable for a couple to date before marrying). By the time they get married, their combined savings is at 8,000 dollars. As a childless couple, they continue to live frugally and work hard. His income goes to pay the rent, utilities and necessities while all of her income goes into her savings. They have a few setbacks here and there like car repairs or illness or emergency out of town trips. But altogether, they manage to save up say, 20 grand by the time their first child is born X amount of time later. The husband gets great insurance at his job. They are already used to living off of his income anyway since her income was mostly going into savings. There is still no credit card debt and no auto loan debt. This being said, is it TOOOOO much to ask for this woman to stay at home for at least a couple of years, maybe between 3-5 years to take care of the baby at home? What if she planned on going to work once the child or children got to elementary school, and just wanted to stay home for the baby years? Is that reasonable?

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That was your reason why some WOHMs here make such a big deal out of some SAHMs who work a few hours a month calling themselves a SAHM.
I say, IF you have a choice (most do not) and you choose to work when the alternative is to spend more time with your children, then you prefer to work. Is that not true?
And I wouldn't be offended if someone said "Some MOMS beat their kids" so why would I be offended if someone said "Some SAHMs beat their kids"? They're both true.
We live in a safer neighborhood, my kids go to better schools, we can afford things like piano lessons (early musical training is linked to higher math/science ability later on) and probably the having the most impact of all, my kids are growing up in a household that has zilch in the way of financial stress. Better educations and safer neighborhoods speak for themselves. No finacial stress? Now THAT is priceless. I've had my turn raising kids on a shoestring and I'd NEVER go there again voluntarily. Dss#2 was rather PO'd at me for waiting until he was out of high school to go to college. He would much rather have grown up as things are now than as they were back then. The difference in our lifestyle now and then is the difference between lower middle class to middle class. Not night and day but it is significant.
Unfortunatly, my best link for dc kids adapting to school better is gone (link no longer works). It was a great article entitled "It may cause stress but daycare can benefit kids". I'll have to find another one. Shouldn't be too hard.
I keep coming up with articles talking about how dc use results in higher school performance but nothing on adapting to school yet. I know it's out there and I will find it but it's a tough search because what you get when you search for daycare and school readiness are hundreds of ads from dc's touting how their program will help your child be ready for school. This may take a while.
Not quite what I was looking for but this one is interesting as it mixes dc and aggression and dc and increased school readiness:
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· Is increased time in non-parental care associated with poor behavior for children entering Kindergarten?
In short, the answer to both questions is: Yes!
Several patterns emerge from the multivariate regression models estimating the cognitive school readiness measures for the Kindergarten sample. First of all, the demographic variables generally point in the expected directions. For example, higher SES kids have higher scores and are perceived by teachers to have better behavior. With respect to the variables of interest – the pre-K care variables – the results were consistent with initial hypotheses: more non-parental care was related to higher levels of cognitive readiness.
Children who entered into non-parental care both before age 3 and after age 3 had higher direct cognitive assessment scores on each of the three measures than did children who had no non-parental care.
Children who participated in non-parental care in the year before Kindergarten, regardless of the number of hours, had higher direct cognitive assessment scores on each of the three measures than did children who had no non-parental care.
There were no differences on the direct cognitive assessments between children with stay-at-home mothers versus those with working mothers.
Children who participated in center-based care as the primary type of non-parental care had higher direct cognitive assessment scores on each of the three measures than did children who had no non-parental care. There were no clear differences related to the other types of care.
Overall, these analyses suggest that, even after controlling for important demographic variables, children who spent more time in care – and particularly in center-based care – enjoyed modest significant benefits on the direct cognitive assessments. Thus, data from the ECLS-K do support the hypothesis that non-parental care is associated with increased school readiness. >>
It's from policy.uark.edu/ritter/researchpapers-childcare.html
Edited 12/13/2003 7:46:38 PM ET by cyndluagain
Edited 12/13/2003 7:40:21 PM ET by cyndluagain
My neighborhood schools provide one of the best elementary music programs around, including one of the only stringed programs. I didn't have to sign dd up for anything to promote her rades/learning, she CHOSE to do it.
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