Scenario
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| Sat, 12-06-2003 - 11:17am |
Well picture this scenario and tell me if you think it's appropriate for this mother to stay home-
As a single and childless woman, she always lived frugally, and worked hard. He is the same way- both the husband and wife manage to get out of debt and save up a few thousand dollars by the time they meet. They date for a couple years (or whatever amount of time YOU think is reasonable for a couple to date before marrying). By the time they get married, their combined savings is at 8,000 dollars. As a childless couple, they continue to live frugally and work hard. His income goes to pay the rent, utilities and necessities while all of her income goes into her savings. They have a few setbacks here and there like car repairs or illness or emergency out of town trips. But altogether, they manage to save up say, 20 grand by the time their first child is born X amount of time later. The husband gets great insurance at his job. They are already used to living off of his income anyway since her income was mostly going into savings. There is still no credit card debt and no auto loan debt. This being said, is it TOOOOO much to ask for this woman to stay at home for at least a couple of years, maybe between 3-5 years to take care of the baby at home? What if she planned on going to work once the child or children got to elementary school, and just wanted to stay home for the baby years? Is that reasonable?

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Hollie
http://attach.prospero.com/n/docs/docDownload.aspx?guid=7E117344-D332-46AD-A2B2-30B19FAEACCF&webtag=iv-pssahwoh
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
I think I come at this debate from my own point of view -- the point of view of a mom with kids ages 5 and 2. Sometimes it gets me in trouble. lol.
Personal responsibility and WOH go hand in hand? Can you imagine what a hullabaloo there would be if I were to claim "personal responsibility and SAH go hand in hand?"
"SAHM's have more at stake with regard to their kids performance." Only if your preposterous theory that SAHs don't have any outlet but their kids for their so-called competitiveness didn't have more holes than a sieve. I'm sure many people SAH at least in part because they're not the slightest bit interested in competing with anybody at anything - if they did it sure would be a lot easier to do so in the workforce. And who says kids are a SAHs whole life anyhow? Since when are our only outlets kids or work? And how do you know it isn't the WOH, not the SAH parent, coaching their kid so as to beat the kid of the doctor down the road? It does seem to be the men who go out of control at sporting events trying to live through their kids, sure didn't have any reason to think they were SAHDs!
Amazing how when you were SAH, your teaching your children everything you could was because you need soooo much more mental stimulation than other people - yet other people who SAH and teach their kids things must be doing so because their self esteem is excessively tied up in their children! Also amazing how you love statistics so, but can sum up the attitudes of a whole body of mothers you dislike by the comments of one or two of your neighbors. Blech.
As I said, IF I had my ego tied up in my kids grades/accomplishments they'd be getting higher grades and experiencing better accomplishments. No, my ego isn't tied up in my kids accomlishments. Not by a long shot. I have my own accomplishments to tie my ego up in I don't need to take credit for my kids accomplishments.
I'm glad your school privides a good elementary music program but the advantages of early musical training occur before elementary school. I signed my kids up for early music training because I knew it was good for them. That dd#2 is good at it is a feather in her cap not mine.
Edited to add the word NOT before talking about a study, which I left out the first time.
Edited 12/14/2003 12:30:10 PM ET by cyndluagain
Perhaps the type a personality SAHMs are the ones who organize the family get togethers, chair the PTA committees, start new community programs, create play groups, etc. NOW I am not in any way saying that ONLY SAHMs do this, I am saying that there is more than one outlet for a personality trait.
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