Scenario
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| Sat, 12-06-2003 - 11:17am |
Well picture this scenario and tell me if you think it's appropriate for this mother to stay home-
As a single and childless woman, she always lived frugally, and worked hard. He is the same way- both the husband and wife manage to get out of debt and save up a few thousand dollars by the time they meet. They date for a couple years (or whatever amount of time YOU think is reasonable for a couple to date before marrying). By the time they get married, their combined savings is at 8,000 dollars. As a childless couple, they continue to live frugally and work hard. His income goes to pay the rent, utilities and necessities while all of her income goes into her savings. They have a few setbacks here and there like car repairs or illness or emergency out of town trips. But altogether, they manage to save up say, 20 grand by the time their first child is born X amount of time later. The husband gets great insurance at his job. They are already used to living off of his income anyway since her income was mostly going into savings. There is still no credit card debt and no auto loan debt. This being said, is it TOOOOO much to ask for this woman to stay at home for at least a couple of years, maybe between 3-5 years to take care of the baby at home? What if she planned on going to work once the child or children got to elementary school, and just wanted to stay home for the baby years? Is that reasonable?

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What?
<<Personality type of mom has squat to do with personality type of child, >>
What? Parents' personalities don't influence the personalities of the child? I don't think for a minute that evey Type A mom raises Type A children. But personalities most definitely influece parenting skills, beliefs and techniques. And parenting skills, beliefs and techniques definitely influence a child's personality. It is by no means the only factor, but to say that mom's personality has *nothing* to do with the child's personality is just absurd.
Hollie
http://attach.prospero.com/n/docs/docDownload.aspx?guid=7E117344-D332-46AD-A2B2-30B19FAEACCF&webtag=iv-pssahwoh
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
I think that a Type A personality would adjust their life to fit their personality, but that it has little to do with work status. I don't think that the only, primary or even best way to fufill those personality traits is by having a job. I think that is one venue. I don't think that SAHPs are less inclined to be driven or goal oriented, I think that the drive and goals are directed in other areas.
I think that the assertation is unflattering all the way around, lending itself to the old fall back stereotypes of WOH=Angelica's mom and SAH=bon bon eating moron that couldn't find some direction in her life. I know that you didn't say that at all, but I believe that these kind of blanket statements about personality theories lead us down that path.
I agree, to an extent, especially with this statement: "I don't think that the only, primary or even best way to fufill those personality traits is by having a job. I think that is one venue."
I do, however, think that having a job is probably the *most common* venue. Not the only by any means. But the most common, partially because its a venue that also supports the family financially and would be a goal for other reasons as well.
" I don't think that SAHPs are less inclined to be driven or goal oriented, I think that the drive and goals are directed in other areas. "
I agree here as well, but go back to the *extrinsic* motivation factor. *Extrinisic* motivation is a core component of Type A personalities. There are probably very driven, goal oriented, hard working, stressed out people that mimic some Type A factors, but without those *extrinsic* motivators, its not Type A behavior.
"I know that you didn't say that at all, but I believe that these kind of blanket statements about personality theories lead us down that path. "
Thank you for not putting words in my mouth! :) But, I didn't make blanket statements, I made some fairly general statements with some big qualifications that kept
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
Edited 12/14/2003 12:51:55 PM ET by cyndluagain
Edited 12/14/2003 12:31:41 PM ET by cyndluagain
But you haven't proven or shown me that at all. You think that type A's may be more likely to WOH, but no one says it is more likely based on a personality type theory.
Although type A SAHM's would explain those moms who claim things like their children walking early was a result of their work, lol.
Would it also explain the type A WOHM who assert the same thing?
Given a choice, I think a type A would choose to work.
That is just it, you would THINK.
We tend to have a hard time with things like dependency
Then why are you married? Why do you have children? Why do you work for someone else?
miss the challenges and accomplishments of work when we don't work.
Again, this makes the big huge assumption that there are no internal challenges and accomplishments of those who don't earn a paycheck.
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