I don't think it's a question of trust. It's a question of overlooking, of taking *calculated* risks, of taking minimal precautions.
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I don't get that. Why would you trust someone who stole from you? I can see giving someone a second chance - though I would probably not give her a second chance. But there's a point at which a person becomes too nice.
To me, it's not a question of trust. It's a question of overlooking, doing a risk/benefit analysis and doing the research necessary to satisfy one's comfort level.
I feel comfortable leaving my 3 yr-old at preschool because he has very good communication skills, can recite what happened at preschool that day practically in chronological order. He tells me which kid had a time-out and all of the details.
The same was not true with my DDs in preschool - they didn't tell me everything about their days. So, I did my research on the preschool, went to every parent-teacher coffee/conference, tried to listen at pick-up/drop-off (parents aren't allowed in the classroom much), spoke with the other parents, etc.
I don't think it's a trust issue. It's a combination of things.
No, it's a personal preference thing. Paying a cleaning lady shouldn't cost me so much that it "hurts" or affects my paying other bills. Cleaning the house is something I could do myself if it cost too much - I couldn't fix my car, for example, and so I would have to find the money for that if I didn't have it.
This is all theory right now since paying the cleaning lady doesn't hurt us, but I'm thinking of earlier days - in college perhaps when it would've been lovely to have a cleaning service.
Not me. On several occasions, someone showed me how to change the oil in my car. You're right that it's not that hard. But, I won't do it. There are professionals who are much better at it than I am. Too much is riding on changing the oil properly - I drive everyday, with kids. So, I'm not taking even that small chance.
Cleaning toilets - my kids and I are not going to be left on the roadside of some busy interstate in the cold freezing weather waiting for a tow truck if I clean my toilet bowel wrong.
Nor does "responsibility" mean "everything that is my responsibility must be completed by the sweat of my own personal hands". Hence the existence of management.
Of course it had nothing to do with the fact that the local kid was a lot cheaper than a weekly lawn service! We have a lawn service, but I'm not about to take credit for feeding their families.
I actually think that's what Mariadia is getting at. It's a very Martha Stewart approach to embracing your living space and making your house your own. I just bought the new 700 page Martha book on this very topic - how to re-grout your tile, how to hone your knives, etc. - really take charge of cleaning and "owning" your home. Of course, I haven't even cracked the binding yet, but I do have moments when I wish I had the energy to do all of that. In theory, I wouldn't mind someday getting rid of the cleaning lady and doing it all myself, but I'm just not there yet.
I am always amazed at how there are so many different flavors to all the school schedules. I wonder what influences them all.
We have ~30 hours of school (8:25-3:00 Tues-F and 8:30-11:45 Mondays) and that includes two PE, two music, one art and one library and one computer special per week. Plus, we have a strategies lab that different grades use - some just once a month some several times a week. Next year we will have a special science lab too. Only one 20 minute recess after 20 minute lunch. It works for our school - just as I am sure your children's schedule works for your school.
I know the 4th grade teachers want the kids to have more recess time because they now make the fourth graders run around the outside playground track/path at the start of each recess. It is about 1/3 of a mile. It has helped afternoon instruction tremendously.
I agree. I feel responsible to help my children with their homework and with their learning. My parents didn't review each day's homework, but I did benefit from their input, especially my father, a lawyer, even when I was in law school. I was always asking for his input then. And when I was in high school and college, my father copied my book lists and read the same books. So brainstorming with him even helped me throughout college.
Throughout my own education, I learned so much about note taking, weeding out the important stuff in class/texts, how to listen to a lecture, finding out what the teacher is asking for, etc., that I feel obligated to share that with my kids. Someday, they may not want to hear it, but so far they very much appreciate my and DH's input and daily review of their homework. If I had nothing to offer, I would be completely hands-off.
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I don't think it's a question of trust. It's a question of overlooking, of taking *calculated* risks, of taking minimal precautions.
<>
I don't get that. Why would you trust someone who stole from you? I can see giving someone a second chance - though I would probably not give her a second chance. But there's a point at which a person becomes too nice.
To me, it's not a question of trust. It's a question of overlooking, doing a risk/benefit analysis and doing the research necessary to satisfy one's comfort level.
I feel comfortable leaving my 3 yr-old at preschool because he has very good communication skills, can recite what happened at preschool that day practically in chronological order. He tells me which kid had a time-out and all of the details.
The same was not true with my DDs in preschool - they didn't tell me everything about their days. So, I did my research on the preschool, went to every parent-teacher coffee/conference, tried to listen at pick-up/drop-off (parents aren't allowed in the classroom much), spoke with the other parents, etc.
I don't think it's a trust issue. It's a combination of things.
No, it's a personal preference thing. Paying a cleaning lady shouldn't cost me so much that it "hurts" or affects my paying other bills. Cleaning the house is something I could do myself if it cost too much - I couldn't fix my car, for example, and so I would have to find the money for that if I didn't have it.
This is all theory right now since paying the cleaning lady doesn't hurt us, but I'm thinking of earlier days - in college perhaps when it would've been lovely to have a cleaning service.
Not me. On several occasions, someone showed me how to change the oil in my car. You're right that it's not that hard. But, I won't do it. There are professionals who are much better at it than I am. Too much is riding on changing the oil properly - I drive everyday, with kids. So, I'm not taking even that small chance.
Cleaning toilets - my kids and I are not going to be left on the roadside of some busy interstate in the cold freezing weather waiting for a tow truck if I clean my toilet bowel wrong.
Nor does "responsibility" mean "everything that is my responsibility must be completed by the sweat of my own personal hands". Hence the existence of management.
Delegation is a wonderful thing.
I suppose it depends on whether they consider their job worthwhile. And whether they get paid for it.
Depending on the pay, I could be quite delighted to fold someone else's freshly laundered skivvies.
<>
Of course it had nothing to do with the fact that the local kid was a lot cheaper than a weekly lawn service! We have a lawn service, but I'm not about to take credit for feeding their families.
<>
I actually think that's what Mariadia is getting at. It's a very Martha Stewart approach to embracing your living space and making your house your own. I just bought the new 700 page Martha book on this very topic - how to re-grout your tile, how to hone your knives, etc. - really take charge of cleaning and "owning" your home. Of course, I haven't even cracked the binding yet, but I do have moments when I wish I had the energy to do all of that. In theory, I wouldn't mind someday getting rid of the cleaning lady and doing it all myself, but I'm just not there yet.
I am always amazed at how there are so many different flavors to all the school schedules. I wonder what influences them all.
We have ~30 hours of school (8:25-3:00 Tues-F and 8:30-11:45 Mondays) and that includes two PE, two music, one art and one library and one computer special per week. Plus, we have a strategies lab that different grades use - some just once a month some several times a week. Next year we will have a special science lab too. Only one 20 minute recess after 20 minute lunch. It works for our school - just as I am sure your children's schedule works for your school.
I know the 4th grade teachers want the kids to have more recess time because they now make the fourth graders run around the outside playground track/path at the start of each recess. It is about 1/3 of a mile. It has helped afternoon instruction tremendously.
I agree. I feel responsible to help my children with their homework and with their learning. My parents didn't review each day's homework, but I did benefit from their input, especially my father, a lawyer, even when I was in law school. I was always asking for his input then. And when I was in high school and college, my father copied my book lists and read the same books. So brainstorming with him even helped me throughout college.
Throughout my own education, I learned so much about note taking, weeding out the important stuff in class/texts, how to listen to a lecture, finding out what the teacher is asking for, etc., that I feel obligated to share that with my kids. Someday, they may not want to hear it, but so far they very much appreciate my and DH's input and daily review of their homework. If I had nothing to offer, I would be completely hands-off.
Edited 1/20/2007 7:28 am ET by tinders
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