Should I stay or should I go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Should I stay or should I go?
1679
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 2:36pm

Hi ladies! it is so nice to be here and vent vent vent vent!!! I would like to share with you guys what is been BOTHERING me for a while now.

I'm 30 my husband is 50 (doesn't look like 50 AT ALL!) we have a 1 year old boy.

We both have good jobs (diferent cities) we've live in different states since we met. I don't like what I do and I would like to change my career and go back again to Graduate School for another major.

I am an engineer and he is an economist, I want to go back to school for a PhD in Psychology, but first I want to stay at home with my baby until he is ready to go to school and then I could go back to school. This sound like a plan since DH is getting a FANTASTIC job . I mean good benefits, good money, very nice city, etc etc etc.

The problem is:

To do so I have to leave my job and I am scared to death!!! what if we don't work out very well? I will be regreting all my life having left a good job. What I would do if we divorce? Start from zero homeless?

Since he is going to be the one making the money how does that is going to work out? He says he will support me always, and he's been trying to convince me to stay at home with our baby but I've been reluctant (reason why we live in diferent cities) to the idea of not having my own money. He is a very generous man, but with a bit of mood swings. We will be living together for the first time since tomorrow,( since he is in academia he is coming to spend the whole summer here at my city ) I guess I will take it from there and see how we work out as a couple.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 4:42pm
Sorry you are still mad about the Tennis Match :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 4:46pm
????
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 4:49pm
:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 6:18pm

actually, he is a pretty great dad -- certainly much better than when we were together. He sees his kids on a regular basis and makes it a point to do fun things with them (and not-so-fun things when they have homework to do, LOL!).


and, while it frustrates me to be the one that is mostly supporting them financially, I know that his business has taken a hard hit in this economy and his (almost) doing the best that he can.


of course he did pay off a huge chunk of what he owed when he GAVE me a 2002 Nissan Altima AND paid to have it registered.


thanks for your interest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 6:29pm
i've been on this board for at LEAST 11 years, LOL!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2009
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 9:23pm
LOL....

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 10:15pm
Yup.
baby in clothes basket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 10:28pm
I'd love to see you (with the aid of Google) find the forms which a person with temporary worker status must fill out to become a permanent resident including all necessary accompanying material. Then imagine doing that with little to no computer experience in another language while working 10-12 hour days doing manual labor.
baby in clothes basket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 6:38am

Yup.



Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 7:06am

Besides, if the person is who I think, then he a) knew English and b) was applying as a result of marriage to a citizen. That is just about the easiest way to get a green card and does only take a few years usually (except in his case it actually took 4). Since he did not apply for a temporary work visa, that means he must have been working off the books or on a false SSN during those years of applying (unless the wife was supporting both).

Also, you cannot apply for citizenship and permanent residency status at the same time. First you apply for permanent residency and when you have held that for some set amount of time, you have the right to apply for citizenship, which is then a whole other process.




Edited 5/29/2009 7:38 am ET by rollmops2009

Pages