Should I stay or should I go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Should I stay or should I go?
1679
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 2:36pm

Hi ladies! it is so nice to be here and vent vent vent vent!!! I would like to share with you guys what is been BOTHERING me for a while now.

I'm 30 my husband is 50 (doesn't look like 50 AT ALL!) we have a 1 year old boy.

We both have good jobs (diferent cities) we've live in different states since we met. I don't like what I do and I would like to change my career and go back again to Graduate School for another major.

I am an engineer and he is an economist, I want to go back to school for a PhD in Psychology, but first I want to stay at home with my baby until he is ready to go to school and then I could go back to school. This sound like a plan since DH is getting a FANTASTIC job . I mean good benefits, good money, very nice city, etc etc etc.

The problem is:

To do so I have to leave my job and I am scared to death!!! what if we don't work out very well? I will be regreting all my life having left a good job. What I would do if we divorce? Start from zero homeless?

Since he is going to be the one making the money how does that is going to work out? He says he will support me always, and he's been trying to convince me to stay at home with our baby but I've been reluctant (reason why we live in diferent cities) to the idea of not having my own money. He is a very generous man, but with a bit of mood swings. We will be living together for the first time since tomorrow,( since he is in academia he is coming to spend the whole summer here at my city ) I guess I will take it from there and see how we work out as a couple.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 10:35am
You do not need to be a citizen to get a job, you just need a valid work permit or a green card.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 10:38am

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You don't need to be a citizen in order to get a job, fyi.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 10:40am
I am well aware of that, but thanks :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 10:40am
Yes but it sure helps :)
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 10:42am
OK, but you said something very different.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 10:42am
A lot of illegal immigrants do have no computer experience, have very limited English skills, and work 10-12+ hours a day doing manual labor. Are those the people for whom you think it would "easily be done if most of the money wasn't sent home?"
baby in clothes basket
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 10:43am
I am also wondering by what standard 4 years of paper work without being able to work (legally anyway) is "easy."
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 10:46am
4 years?

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Ducky

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 10:51am

Yup, that is if you are virtually entitled to the green card (because you are married to a citizen). If you apply in Idaho, it may go faster, but if you are somewhere like New york, California or Florida where the immigration load is heavy, it can take forever.

During that time you are not allowed to leave the country, except by special permission (another application and another wait), nor are you allowed to work unless you apply for and get a temporary work permit (you have to apply for that separately). Yeah, dead easy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 10:53am
Again, I was speaking of the someone I knew who went through it. I personally can not speak of anyone else :)

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