Should I stay or should I go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Should I stay or should I go?
1679
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 2:36pm

Hi ladies! it is so nice to be here and vent vent vent vent!!! I would like to share with you guys what is been BOTHERING me for a while now.

I'm 30 my husband is 50 (doesn't look like 50 AT ALL!) we have a 1 year old boy.

We both have good jobs (diferent cities) we've live in different states since we met. I don't like what I do and I would like to change my career and go back again to Graduate School for another major.

I am an engineer and he is an economist, I want to go back to school for a PhD in Psychology, but first I want to stay at home with my baby until he is ready to go to school and then I could go back to school. This sound like a plan since DH is getting a FANTASTIC job . I mean good benefits, good money, very nice city, etc etc etc.

The problem is:

To do so I have to leave my job and I am scared to death!!! what if we don't work out very well? I will be regreting all my life having left a good job. What I would do if we divorce? Start from zero homeless?

Since he is going to be the one making the money how does that is going to work out? He says he will support me always, and he's been trying to convince me to stay at home with our baby but I've been reluctant (reason why we live in diferent cities) to the idea of not having my own money. He is a very generous man, but with a bit of mood swings. We will be living together for the first time since tomorrow,( since he is in academia he is coming to spend the whole summer here at my city ) I guess I will take it from there and see how we work out as a couple.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 11:45am
So because it was so easy for that person to get permanent residency and then citizenship, that it is equally easy for other immigrants?
baby in clothes basket
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 11:47am
Yes, the system is extremely inadequate. Of course, the cynics insist that it is kept inadequate on purpose to ensure a steady over-supply of labor and thus keep labor costs down, but without having to take people in permanently or give them any benefits. Either way, it is extremely frustrating when you have to deal with it.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 11:48am
Again, "easy" in this case means a 4-year process during which the person was unable to work or travel outside the US.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 11:50am
she's lived here longer than me.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 11:52am
Where did I say it was easy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 11:53am
Not sure if you are speaking about me but if you are, where did I say "4 years"?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 12:05pm

I was just putting context around the citizenship application process. I takes more than five years for a permanent legal resident to become a citizen and it averages about 7. Heaven knows there's enough misinformation out there.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 12:08pm
It's easy to check.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 1:23pm
Check? Check what?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 1:53pm

>> You ARE joking, correct? Americans bring these illegal aliens into the U.S.? <<

American employers continue to hire them. If they stopped, the flow of people coming here to find work would also stop.

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?

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