Should I stay or should I go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Should I stay or should I go?
1679
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 2:36pm

Hi ladies! it is so nice to be here and vent vent vent vent!!! I would like to share with you guys what is been BOTHERING me for a while now.

I'm 30 my husband is 50 (doesn't look like 50 AT ALL!) we have a 1 year old boy.

We both have good jobs (diferent cities) we've live in different states since we met. I don't like what I do and I would like to change my career and go back again to Graduate School for another major.

I am an engineer and he is an economist, I want to go back to school for a PhD in Psychology, but first I want to stay at home with my baby until he is ready to go to school and then I could go back to school. This sound like a plan since DH is getting a FANTASTIC job . I mean good benefits, good money, very nice city, etc etc etc.

The problem is:

To do so I have to leave my job and I am scared to death!!! what if we don't work out very well? I will be regreting all my life having left a good job. What I would do if we divorce? Start from zero homeless?

Since he is going to be the one making the money how does that is going to work out? He says he will support me always, and he's been trying to convince me to stay at home with our baby but I've been reluctant (reason why we live in diferent cities) to the idea of not having my own money. He is a very generous man, but with a bit of mood swings. We will be living together for the first time since tomorrow,( since he is in academia he is coming to spend the whole summer here at my city ) I guess I will take it from there and see how we work out as a couple.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 11:26am
Sorry but no one speaks for me except myself :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 12:33pm

<>


How

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 12:36pm

<<By passing by and seeing them standing there and seeing them get picked up. They were even there on Easter Sunday waiting to see if they could get jobs that day.>>


So simply by standing there and being picked up for a job, that equals not paying taxes?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 12:38pm
<<I have never hired an illegal worker and I have reported businesses that exploit workers with illegal hiring practices, no matter the ethnicity of their employees.

Is that hard to understand?


I have also observed some legit employers pick up a number of day laborers, hispanic and other ethnicities, to do landscape and construction work. Is that unusual?>>


How are you telling the difference between the legal and illegal workers?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 12:45pm

Employers are notified if the social security number is not accurate, if it doesn't match what the SSA office has on record.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 1:03pm
How do I know what?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 1:04pm

<>

So simply by standing there and being picked up for a job, that equals not paying taxes? That's quite a leap and a major accusation for both the employer and employee.

No, no leap. Unfortunately I am too familiar with this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 1:17pm
So how do you tell the difference between the legal ones waiting to be picked up for a job and the illegal ones waiting to be picked up for a job?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 1:23pm
They are not legal. That is why they are looking for these off the book jobs. They can't get a legal job without a green card.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 1:41pm

Plenty of perfectly legal residents (even American citizens with roots in the U.S. going back a hundred years or more) happily take off the books jobs. The fact that people take jobs off the book is not proof of lack of legal residency in the U.S.; you are assuming based on ethnicity.

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