Should I stay or should I go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Should I stay or should I go?
1679
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 2:36pm

Hi ladies! it is so nice to be here and vent vent vent vent!!! I would like to share with you guys what is been BOTHERING me for a while now.

I'm 30 my husband is 50 (doesn't look like 50 AT ALL!) we have a 1 year old boy.

We both have good jobs (diferent cities) we've live in different states since we met. I don't like what I do and I would like to change my career and go back again to Graduate School for another major.

I am an engineer and he is an economist, I want to go back to school for a PhD in Psychology, but first I want to stay at home with my baby until he is ready to go to school and then I could go back to school. This sound like a plan since DH is getting a FANTASTIC job . I mean good benefits, good money, very nice city, etc etc etc.

The problem is:

To do so I have to leave my job and I am scared to death!!! what if we don't work out very well? I will be regreting all my life having left a good job. What I would do if we divorce? Start from zero homeless?

Since he is going to be the one making the money how does that is going to work out? He says he will support me always, and he's been trying to convince me to stay at home with our baby but I've been reluctant (reason why we live in diferent cities) to the idea of not having my own money. He is a very generous man, but with a bit of mood swings. We will be living together for the first time since tomorrow,( since he is in academia he is coming to spend the whole summer here at my city ) I guess I will take it from there and see how we work out as a couple.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 1:45pm

While I do think that many of them may be looking for that kind of work because they are illegal, I also think that it's not the only possible reason. Some people are just desperate for income, and if they haven't found a steady job yet, it beats doing nothing. I'd rather see a person on the curb waiting to get picked up for any last-minute job than see a person on the curb with a cardboard sign asking for handouts.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 1:50pm
I am well aware of that. Illegal aliens are a big problem in many parts of the country and the place that I am speaking of is one of them. Enough to make a movie about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 1:51pm
Are you familiar with the illegal alien situation? Do you see many of them waiting for jobs in your area?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 2:12pm
Only after the fact. The complaint was investigated by law enforcement, the business was prosecuted for illegal hiring practices.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 2:15pm

If you were actually "well aware" of that, you would not have made the claim that:

"They are not legal. That is why they are looking for these off the book jobs. They can't get a legal job without a green card."

in response to the question of how you know they are illegal.

However big the problem of illegal aliens may or may not be in your part of the country, you could not possibly know that every person waiting on a corner to be picked up for work is an illegal alien unless you asked each and every one of them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 2:16pm
No, Texas doesn't have any illegal immigrants.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 2:23pm
Yes I do, but I just can't make the assumption that EVERY single individual looking for day labor is an illegal alien. I'm sure that there is the occasional legal person sprinkled in there.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 2:25pm
Bwahaha! :-)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 2:43pm
I am not really going to "prove" my point as I do not want my personal info on a messageboard but I could if I needed to :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 2:44pm
Well then you are speaking about different circumstances than I am :)

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