Should I stay or should I go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Should I stay or should I go?
1679
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 2:36pm

Hi ladies! it is so nice to be here and vent vent vent vent!!! I would like to share with you guys what is been BOTHERING me for a while now.

I'm 30 my husband is 50 (doesn't look like 50 AT ALL!) we have a 1 year old boy.

We both have good jobs (diferent cities) we've live in different states since we met. I don't like what I do and I would like to change my career and go back again to Graduate School for another major.

I am an engineer and he is an economist, I want to go back to school for a PhD in Psychology, but first I want to stay at home with my baby until he is ready to go to school and then I could go back to school. This sound like a plan since DH is getting a FANTASTIC job . I mean good benefits, good money, very nice city, etc etc etc.

The problem is:

To do so I have to leave my job and I am scared to death!!! what if we don't work out very well? I will be regreting all my life having left a good job. What I would do if we divorce? Start from zero homeless?

Since he is going to be the one making the money how does that is going to work out? He says he will support me always, and he's been trying to convince me to stay at home with our baby but I've been reluctant (reason why we live in diferent cities) to the idea of not having my own money. He is a very generous man, but with a bit of mood swings. We will be living together for the first time since tomorrow,( since he is in academia he is coming to spend the whole summer here at my city ) I guess I will take it from there and see how we work out as a couple.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 4:28pm
Thanks, I appreciate you understanding :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 4:29pm

Ah! I'd forgotten about that possibility, but somehow I don't think so....;-).

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 4:30pm

That really sounds like an interesting movie.


PumpkinAngel

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 4:32pm

Not sure what movie that poster is talking about, but there was a PBS special about illegals in the NY area:

http://www.pbs.org/pov/pov2004/farmingville/

Here is some of the description:

Tambini and Sandoval explore the conflict as it plays out as an ongoing clash of personalities and perspectives. Residents such as Margaret Bianculli-Dyber, who helps found and lead a group called SQL, blame the Mexican day workers for bringing noise, overcrowding, and a crime wave to the area. Tempers boil as local officials deny any increase in crime and plead powerlessness to act against the workers. Other citizens, such as Ed Hernandez of Brookhaven Citizens for Peaceful Solutions and Brother Joe Madsen, counsel tolerance for the plight of the day workers. The contractors, restaurateurs and homeowners who hire the workers claim the local economy would come to a standstill without the Mexicans' willingness to do hard, low-paying and sometimes dangerous labor. The workers, meanwhile, face rising incidents of verbal and physical harassment.

Then a vicious crime brings the conflict fully to the surface. Lured to a basement under pretext of a job, Israel Pérez and Magdaleno Escamilla are brutally stabbed and beaten. It's the kind of racist violence one might expect in another place and time, but not in a Long Island town like Farmingville. Two young white men with ties to racist groups are later charged and convicted of hate-based attempted murder for the attack, which draws national media attention. Ominously, however, the shock of the incident serves to polarize and harden feelings rather than bring the community together.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 4:35pm

Yes, really. Some come back, some do not. Those that come back often do not come back after being "corrected." I forget exactly how it works, but to the best of my recollection, the number will only be rejected by the IRS system if someone with a different name is already in the database as having paid taxes with that number.

Illegals know how to construct SSNs that will not be rejected for having the wrong prefixes etc, which may be what happened to you (since it was a data entry error).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 5:50pm
These days it may be more than a sprinkling. A couple of day jobs a week could fill in the gap between what someone may have been making at a previous job and what they now make in unemployment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 5:56pm

OT but do you ever watch 48 hours?


there was an episode once about a local guy accused of killing his wife.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 5:59pm
the godfather was a great collection of movies...couldn't resist.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 6:02pm

i don't know that assuming what somebody is going to say is any less judgemental.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 6:14pm

Don't you know by now that Europeans and ex-patriates who haven't lived in the US for decades know more about the US than we citizens? ;-)


When someone with ties in California has claims there are

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