Should I stay or should I go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Should I stay or should I go?
1679
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 2:36pm

Hi ladies! it is so nice to be here and vent vent vent vent!!! I would like to share with you guys what is been BOTHERING me for a while now.

I'm 30 my husband is 50 (doesn't look like 50 AT ALL!) we have a 1 year old boy.

We both have good jobs (diferent cities) we've live in different states since we met. I don't like what I do and I would like to change my career and go back again to Graduate School for another major.

I am an engineer and he is an economist, I want to go back to school for a PhD in Psychology, but first I want to stay at home with my baby until he is ready to go to school and then I could go back to school. This sound like a plan since DH is getting a FANTASTIC job . I mean good benefits, good money, very nice city, etc etc etc.

The problem is:

To do so I have to leave my job and I am scared to death!!! what if we don't work out very well? I will be regreting all my life having left a good job. What I would do if we divorce? Start from zero homeless?

Since he is going to be the one making the money how does that is going to work out? He says he will support me always, and he's been trying to convince me to stay at home with our baby but I've been reluctant (reason why we live in diferent cities) to the idea of not having my own money. He is a very generous man, but with a bit of mood swings. We will be living together for the first time since tomorrow,( since he is in academia he is coming to spend the whole summer here at my city ) I guess I will take it from there and see how we work out as a couple.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 6:15pm
Sure they do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 6:54pm

I think this is provable based on the participants on this board. Let's all take a civics test, because I'm pretty sure Rollmops and Laura_w2 would wipe the floor with the "real" American posters here.

Can you point to any post where anyone claims there is no illegal immigration and employment problems? Coco has claimed that ALL day laborers that she sees, of a certain ethnicity, are illegal workers.

The original debate, as I am guilty of starting this particular subthread, it that one can't assume that most Hispanic lawncare workers are any less American than their paler counterparts. Do you really disagree with that? Because Coco has disagreed with that, quite ofte and "patiently" to use your word.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 7:33pm

Odd that an expert in the library sciences would choose that over a report from this century.


And in California.


http://www.pbs.org/nbr/site/onair/transcripts/080201c/


(a quick search yielded almost 500 such reports/films/documentaries about California's illegal immigration problem ~ impacting the workforce, of course.)




Edited 5/26/2009 7:35 pm ET by forlinis
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 7:44pm

It's odd for anyone here to argue that people with actual choice would choose rising very early, waiting on the streets and getting into cars/trucks with employers they know little of and probably cannot even converse with - or even ensure receiving a day's wages at the end of the day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 7:47pm
Texas and California immediately come to my mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 7:51pm

Is Coco from California? She is the one who sees the "immigration problem" right in her own neighborhood. She's the one with the movie "proving" her point. gal_sockpuppet (http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-pssahwoh/?msg=19152.560) also seemed to think the problem was within Suffolk County, so why would a librarian not helpfully point to the possible source?

The PBS documentary primiered on Jun 22, 2004. That is this century, is it not?

It is a pretty good documentary, but it does not support Coco's argument that all day laborers in her neighborhood of a certain ethnic persuasion are illegal workers.




Edited 5/27/2009 12:02 am ET by chestnuthooligan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 7:58pm

You're not suggesting that people with legitimate work credentials prefer not to get into trucks with strangers claiming to be employers?


Or that these same men with great work credentials don't like to risk NOT being paid at the end of a hard day's labor?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 8:05pm

Just to clarify, you don't have the problem which Coco has described where you live?


...nor anywhere in your state?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 8:07pm

This terrible problem affecting the vulnerable exists throughout the U.S.


Not acknowledging this problem exists apparently does too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 8:13pm
And that using Google on one's own is a sign of weakness.

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