Should I stay or should I go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Should I stay or should I go?
1679
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 2:36pm

Hi ladies! it is so nice to be here and vent vent vent vent!!! I would like to share with you guys what is been BOTHERING me for a while now.

I'm 30 my husband is 50 (doesn't look like 50 AT ALL!) we have a 1 year old boy.

We both have good jobs (diferent cities) we've live in different states since we met. I don't like what I do and I would like to change my career and go back again to Graduate School for another major.

I am an engineer and he is an economist, I want to go back to school for a PhD in Psychology, but first I want to stay at home with my baby until he is ready to go to school and then I could go back to school. This sound like a plan since DH is getting a FANTASTIC job . I mean good benefits, good money, very nice city, etc etc etc.

The problem is:

To do so I have to leave my job and I am scared to death!!! what if we don't work out very well? I will be regreting all my life having left a good job. What I would do if we divorce? Start from zero homeless?

Since he is going to be the one making the money how does that is going to work out? He says he will support me always, and he's been trying to convince me to stay at home with our baby but I've been reluctant (reason why we live in diferent cities) to the idea of not having my own money. He is a very generous man, but with a bit of mood swings. We will be living together for the first time since tomorrow,( since he is in academia he is coming to spend the whole summer here at my city ) I guess I will take it from there and see how we work out as a couple.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:18pm
i thought it was just your opinion. thanks a whole lot!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:19pm
lol. yea suuuuure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:23pm
So what would that tell you then? Maybe I should just go home or no, let me work illegally, risking my life, living with 10,20,30 other people in a one family home to send money home to my family who are now living like kings and queens in your home country. Then one day I WILL go home after I made enough US money, paid no taxes to live better than the American who is busting their butt, making less money, trying to do the right thing. Gotcha.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:23pm

goshdarn it! banging my hand against forehead. is that why they don't apply?


what's the chances that they get

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:25pm
Maybe because you can make more money doing it illegally and live like a king in a few years back in your own country. Nah...
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:29pm
Then I suggest you check a little. Again, it is not arcane information.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:31pm
No, it really is not, but nor am I going to waste my evening going through the library to dig up citations for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:47pm

Just wow.

Forlinis? Can you put a positive spin on this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:52pm
Wow? Guess this comes from inexperience too. It's ok to not be experienced in everything in life but I just wish more people would be honest and not say "Wow" to posts that tell the whole story. Shows how sheltered (no matter if it is good or bad) some people are-shrug.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:54pm

It costs about $3,000 for a family of four to apply for citizensship, plus legal fees plus medical expenses. There is also the citizenship test which is a barrier for many.

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