Should I stay or should I go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Should I stay or should I go?
1679
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 2:36pm

Hi ladies! it is so nice to be here and vent vent vent vent!!! I would like to share with you guys what is been BOTHERING me for a while now.

I'm 30 my husband is 50 (doesn't look like 50 AT ALL!) we have a 1 year old boy.

We both have good jobs (diferent cities) we've live in different states since we met. I don't like what I do and I would like to change my career and go back again to Graduate School for another major.

I am an engineer and he is an economist, I want to go back to school for a PhD in Psychology, but first I want to stay at home with my baby until he is ready to go to school and then I could go back to school. This sound like a plan since DH is getting a FANTASTIC job . I mean good benefits, good money, very nice city, etc etc etc.

The problem is:

To do so I have to leave my job and I am scared to death!!! what if we don't work out very well? I will be regreting all my life having left a good job. What I would do if we divorce? Start from zero homeless?

Since he is going to be the one making the money how does that is going to work out? He says he will support me always, and he's been trying to convince me to stay at home with our baby but I've been reluctant (reason why we live in diferent cities) to the idea of not having my own money. He is a very generous man, but with a bit of mood swings. We will be living together for the first time since tomorrow,( since he is in academia he is coming to spend the whole summer here at my city ) I guess I will take it from there and see how we work out as a couple.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 4:40pm

Which experience is that?

Misplaced anger, possibly racially motivated, against powerless illegals, with a nod and wink to the business owners or service consumers who get cheaper services because they break the law?

I am aware illegal immigration in my state. If there were no jobs, they would not come here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 4:41pm
how would you know what country i am from? are you willing to bet the farm on that statement?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 4:41pm
But evidently you are "financially ruined" just like me. So sad, huh?

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 4:43pm
if you don't have access to 3 thou right now, i'd say you are in financial ruins.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 4:43pm
I did google it (posted the link in a different post). What I found is that lots of illegal immigrants are in fact returning to Mexico because of the many crackdowns here. Rather than living like kings, they are living like peasants: putting a strain on the social services and driving down wages, although not by working illegally. Which makes sense, actually. More sense than your "live like kings" scenario. Even though it costs less to live in Mexico, it's not so much less than somebody can save it up while working illegally (and therefore being paid less than a legal American on-the-books worker) and supporting a family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-1998
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 4:43pm

Ahhhh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 4:44pm

I have very little experience with day laborers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 4:46pm
well then i guess we can't accept anything then. oh well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 4:47pm
No, Americans won't work as hard as they do. They will work 10-12 hour days without complaining and will take jobs 6-7 days a week if they can.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 4:47pm

ETA ~ and remember, you may only ask that question of Coco.

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