Sneaking purchases...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sneaking purchases...
1291
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:10am

I was reading another board about sneaking purchases past their husband's. I know I use to sneak before we started doing our finances together. I would actually come home during lunch to get the mail or unload packages. I was pitiful. Even now, I will bring things in the house and wince thinking how upset Devin would be with me.


So, have you ever hid purchases or not told your DH the whole picture of your finances? We use to horrible fights about finances. I would do the weekly budget and e-mail him it. We would discuss it and everything was fine. Then, he would tell me two days later that he was doing a marathon that cost $75.00. I had to actually ask him before we did the budget-Do you have any marathons? Do you need shoes? Do you have any equipment you need? Can you tell I

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

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Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:25am
"Why get good grades if they can't afford the best college that would foster their strengths? State U isn't necessarily the best choice for those Einsteins out there. By criticizing women who don't SAH and scrimp like you did just to get by, you advocate foreclosing a child's college choices and therefore, his ENTIRE future."

I hate to jump in but I take issue w/ that statement. If these Einsteins everyone speaks of when arguing it's better for both parents to work in order to finance their children's education do study and get the grades, do the activities, etc. then they have great chances of making it into one of those "not just a State U" colleges and universities on scholarship.

And. . . as someone who has been a private and public school graduate (and grad school) I can honestly say I got a BETTER education from th 9K/year state school as opposed to my initial choice, the 28K/year private school. I was pretty much allowed to coast at the private school and spend more time on social activities (plus I was a varsity athlete) however when I got to the state school (transferred because my father became ill and I wanted to be closer to home) I had to work MUCH harder to get the same grades, even harder yet to excel. Plus, I met the smartest people I've ever known at that state school. There weren't too many Einsteins hanging around the private school.

One more thing - say you have one of these Einsteins and send them to the "best" 40k school around, it's no guarantee of his/her future - they might decide to study (quelle horror!) a language, history (w/ no desire to study law afterwards), or something they actually enjoy!

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:26am
"Whereas i have no idea WHAT those rules are most of the time."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:27am
If you wear white in a summer fabric to a meeting full of accountants and lobbyists in DC in February, you are dressing inappropriately.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:31am
I live in Florida and wear black year round. Black shoes, black pants, black sweaters, black purse.

Down here, it's acceptable to wear white after Easter and you can get away with it for a few weeks in Sept, because it's still in the 90s outside. That's for residents, however. The tourists wear white, cotton, linen and sandals all year. It's too funny to be in a restaurant in January wearing long pants and a sweater, while the tourists at the next table are in cotton shorts and sandals.

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:34am
By that logic, I should not carry leather purses at all, since it;s hot and humid where I live for most of the year. No way would I carry a fabric purse in December, just because it's warm out.

Susan

Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:36am
ITA w/ the dressing appropriately for your position thing; women have to fight (at times) for credibility - the least they can do to help themselves is to dress within the "rules" of fashion.

I know that in my career, I was taken much more seriously in an appropriate suit than I was when I wore more "eclectic" clothing ;) Plus, it was easier to describe to my students what they should wear to interviews by my example then it was to say "wear anything but what I'm wearing" ;)

Of course now most of my wardrobe consits of sweatpants and nursing shirts ;)

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:39am
Well, maybe those accountants and lobbyists should remember for whom they work, because I can assure you, if I'm in a meeting with them, they work for ME...and I'm pretty much guessing I could wear Beavis n Butthead jammies and they'd be kissing my butt and telling me it was like smelling roses.

Accountants and lobbyists exist to SERVE not be served; so who cares what they think of my clothing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:40am

That's very true.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:46am

What if you're a colleague, and not hiring them?


You once said you're a total nonconformist.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:50am

I had to laugh about this one. You're right! I was interviewing in the early 90's for a technical position in San Francisco for headquarters of Computeruland.

Mondo

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