Sneaking purchases...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sneaking purchases...
1291
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:10am

I was reading another board about sneaking purchases past their husband's. I know I use to sneak before we started doing our finances together. I would actually come home during lunch to get the mail or unload packages. I was pitiful. Even now, I will bring things in the house and wince thinking how upset Devin would be with me.


So, have you ever hid purchases or not told your DH the whole picture of your finances? We use to horrible fights about finances. I would do the weekly budget and e-mail him it. We would discuss it and everything was fine. Then, he would tell me two days later that he was doing a marathon that cost $75.00. I had to actually ask him before we did the budget-Do you have any marathons? Do you need shoes? Do you have any equipment you need? Can you tell I

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 5:35am
While not every college offers scholarships, I have yet to run across the one which does not offer financial aid, and although I would also describe government grant aid as limited, low interest student loans sure aren't.

Believe it or not, some students actually enjoy studying law. ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 5:51am
The only thing on your list that has changed on the last 20 years is the SIDS thing. People are now being told to put their babies to sleep on their backs which they weren't in the early 80's.

I had babies in 1983, 1985 and 1989. 20 years ago breast feeding was known to be the best choice for feeding babies, the effects of two much TV (and of violent TV were known), the effects of poor nutrition were known, the only thing that has changed about dicipline is now there are names for different styles.

If you think that there are vast differences can you tell me exactly what they are. Because I was reading books on parenting in the 80s and in this century and I don't see any big differences.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 6:25am

Devotion to one's child comes not from the total amount of hours devoted to them.

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 6:27am
Well, you completely missed the point, but I'm not surprised.

<> Well, that was a pretty stupid comment. Where did I say anything about how I would be as a SAHM? All I'm trying to do is to remind you that even SAHMs are not necessarily better parents for the simple fact they SAH.

<> I agree. Wow, we agree on something.

<> Exactly my point. Not all WOHMs are how you describe them either.

<> Well, since I don't know you personally, I don't know that for sure.

<> That's nice. I choose to be the best parent I can, work status not being part of the equation on what's good or bad in parenting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 6:27am

Well I agree with <>


Because ds' dc teachers are his TEACHERS, not his parents. They care deeply about him. They do a wonderful job of teaching him and guiding him, etc. But they're not his parents, so I don't expect them to love him the way I do. Love him? sure, but as a parent would? Nope, because he already gets plenty of that love from his father and I.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 6:28am
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oooh thanks, I love having the opportunity to do that.

<> Are you the pot or the kettle?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 6:31am

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 6:32am
But you know what? NONE Of those things have a whit to do with SAH/WOH. H&I isn't counseling anyone one THOSE issues .. .she's talking about SAH/WOH. And THAT hasn't changed. A WOH can be a wonderful parent .. just like a SAH can be a wonderful parent.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 6:38am
Ouch, that was a little harsh.

I don't think Funsahm's been nasty. Has she judged? Yes, unfortunately, we all judge each other. I don't think she has criticized nearly as much as she is being unfairly criticized by the WOHMs here. Also, I don't think you can say the pre-school child of 2 WOHPs who is in dc is getting the same overall "life experience" as the child of a SAHP. MANY women/men give up good paying jobs for this reason. I think the implication here by the WOHMs that Funsahm is "way out there" in her thinking (for lack of a better description) is incorrect. It's somewhat common thinking among many WOHMs and SAHMs.

The reason I gave up a good job I liked was the belief that, yes, dc may be acceptable, but sometimes it may actually be detrimental to a child. Rare, but I read the papers. And even if overt physical abuse doesn't occur, there are less obvious, yet still offensive, things I've seen adults do with children that are unacceptable to me. For instance, staying at home with my 3 has not been easy everyday and many days are quite demanding. If I'm having a tough day, how can a dc provider doing the same, be as gentle and kind toward my misbehaving children as I would?

I agree with Funsahm. You can't compare the sole breadwinner, DH in her case, to the WOHMs here whose DHs also work. You suggest if you truly believe SAH is best, then DH should stay home too. That's not a good comparison at all, because you just can't provide a decent life for a child if both parents are at home, but on the dole. My DH goes off to work with a bit of pressure taken off him knowing that the children are home with me, not an unrelated caretaker we truly know little about.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 6:48am
Why exactly was that harsh? Because I questioned her on her opinions? Because I asked her questions to back up her thoughts and ideas? No, that wasn't harsh at all. This is a debate board. It gets heated at times and funsahm seems to enjoy tossing around her opinions and insults without answering any questions.

<> I do.

<> I do.

<> You're right, it's not the same, it's different. It doesn't have to be the same. Different is okay.

<> I don't think the WOHMs are wrong.

<> I agree. Also, children are more likely to be abused in their own home than in a DC setting.

<> You're right. It's much more common for that to happen at home.

<> Then you shouldn't use DC if it's unacceptable for you. Don't assume that what's acceptable or unacceptable for one should be that way for all.

<> I don't know, but I know some mother's who are not gentle and kind toward misbehaving children. Don't imply that all SAHMs are going to be "gentle and kind" all the time.

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