Sneaking purchases...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sneaking purchases...
1291
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:10am

I was reading another board about sneaking purchases past their husband's. I know I use to sneak before we started doing our finances together. I would actually come home during lunch to get the mail or unload packages. I was pitiful. Even now, I will bring things in the house and wince thinking how upset Devin would be with me.


So, have you ever hid purchases or not told your DH the whole picture of your finances? We use to horrible fights about finances. I would do the weekly budget and e-mail him it. We would discuss it and everything was fine. Then, he would tell me two days later that he was doing a marathon that cost $75.00. I had to actually ask him before we did the budget-Do you have any marathons? Do you need shoes? Do you have any equipment you need? Can you tell I

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:10am
You're very kind. I would just love to share my children with you and you would see what great kids they are (but I'm not dumb, I certainly can't take all the credit....)

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Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:10am
<> But there are different kinds of love. Nobody expects their care provider to love their child the way they do, but they love them in a different way. I have a good friend whose daughter is my DS2's best friend. I love this little girl. Not the way her mom does. Not the way I love my boys. But in a very special way that is just between us. Do you love your DH the same way you love your children? Do you love your parents the same way you love your DH? It's all different, but it is love.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:13am
Unlike you, I never said abuse happens in one place more than another. Without the aid of videocams in both homes and dc centers, statistics are meaningless.

Also, never criticized any individual post. Just said that once the point was made that Funsahm was really a pt WOHM, it became unnecessary for any other WOHMs to join in, wrestle her and pin her to the mat until she admitted it.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:14am
That was a beautiful post. It amazes me that some people can't understand the relationships care providers have with "their kids." I take care of some friends' kids on Friday afternoons. I do "love" these kids in my own way. I enjoy their company. I like the fact that they feel comfortable in my home and enjoy being with my boys. The capacity to love other children in so great in so many people.

You and your children are very blessed to have such a wonderful, loving nanny in your lives.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:15am

"Also, I don't think you can say the pre-school child of 2 WOHPs who is in dc is getting the same overall "life experience" as the child of a SAHP."


My children are home with a nanny about 47 or so hours a week without a parent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:17am
If it's a cultural thing, then I don't doubt dc providers feel free to ascribe to it as well. Obviously, the parents wouldn't complain, no?

In my country, the US, many quit wonderful jobs just out of fear and the possibility that dc providers may be abusive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:19am
"CIO before naps" - abuse?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:20am
You totally missed the point.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:24am
Nowhere did we discuss being killed by a dc provider or parent. We were discussing abusive and offensive conduct. You: "Not only that, a child is in more danger of being violently harmed and killed at the hands of relatives than any other person." Me: If this is true, is it possible that the higher rate is a factor of obviously more time spent with a parent than a dc provider? I just don't know. I don't think we'll ever know what goes on in dc (and private homes) without the aid of videocams.

Don't many people give up good paying jobs just because dc is unacceptable and out of a fear of and the possibility of abuse? I did. THis is certainly not unheard of. Aren't there a few WOHMs uncomfortable with the conduct of their dc providers? Wouldn't some WOHMs quit if they could afford it because of a fear that the dc provider is not treating their children as well as they could themselves?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:25am

"I'm totally saying this as an outsider who's never used dc. Do you really find that dc providers "love" your children? "


Simple answer:

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