Sneaking purchases...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sneaking purchases...
1291
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:10am

I was reading another board about sneaking purchases past their husband's. I know I use to sneak before we started doing our finances together. I would actually come home during lunch to get the mail or unload packages. I was pitiful. Even now, I will bring things in the house and wince thinking how upset Devin would be with me.


So, have you ever hid purchases or not told your DH the whole picture of your finances? We use to horrible fights about finances. I would do the weekly budget and e-mail him it. We would discuss it and everything was fine. Then, he would tell me two days later that he was doing a marathon that cost $75.00. I had to actually ask him before we did the budget-Do you have any marathons? Do you need shoes? Do you have any equipment you need? Can you tell I

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:21am
Not a problem. I wasn't even really upset, just a little taken aback. My kids are almost 8 (my baby will be 8 in less than a week, how did THAT happen?) and almost 12, and neither has ever had a blister or any other problem from ill-fitting shoes, so I guess we're doing OK so far. As I've said, I do spring for the expensive shoes for sports activities where repetitive stress injuries are an issue, and I let the salesperson do the measuring then. If I had kids with different sized-feet, I'd probably have to shop at a specialty store, too. But otherwise, if you know where to check on the shoe (toe, width at the widest point of the toes and the instep, and the way the heel cups the back of the foot when the kid is walking), then you know as much as most shoe store clerks about how to fit a shoe. And my kids are incredibly hard on shoes and clothes, expensive or otherwise, so I'm really not willing to spend a lot on shoes they'll outgrow or wear out in a matter of two-three months. Or in the case of dress shoes, shoes they'll wear two or three times before they're completely outgrown.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:22am

My kids wear out and outgrow their shoes about the same time.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:24am

But them's different rules, girlie ...


The issue here isn't that Payless can't measure those big feet. It isn't that Payless isn't good enough quality. Its that Payless doesn't carry shoes that fit. So of course you buy the shoes that fit .. and if StrideRite is the only place that carries them, it makes perfect sense to buy them there. But it hasn't a whit to do with being able to measure ...

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:28am

Do you honestly NOT watch your kids walk in their shoes before buying? Do you NOT feel where their toes are? Do you not ask them how they feel? Do you not look for whether or not the heel is sliding up and down as they walk?


It *sounds* as though you let the clerk measure the foot - he says its an 8 - and you pick an 8 off the shelf and go home. What if you try that 8 on and it rubs the heel? or smushes the toe? Do you say "well, the salesman - and after all, he's a professonal, he works at StrideRite - and the metal thingymabob say its an 8, so by golly, we're buying the 8."?


I know that's probably not what you do. That's absurd. But no more absurd than your implication that we just willynilly guess our kids' size.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:29am

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:30am
Yup!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:32am
Wool?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:37am
"If it's a cultural thing, then I don't doubt dc providers feel free to ascribe to it as well. Obviously, the parents wouldn't complain, no? "

You are probably right, which is why I have no fears about the dcp providers dd has...I know that kindness, gentleness and an absolute abhorrence of physical harm of any kind is pretty culturally ingrained. I am sure that there may be some abusive dcp out there, but the chances are extremely low. The US is more culturally diverse than Sweden or Switzerland. I would assumed that parents would carefully look for a dc that fit their notions of appropriate discipline and caring so they would feel comfortable with their choice and the actions of the dcp.

"In my country, the US, many quit wonderful jobs just out of fear and the possibility that dc providers may be abusive."

Just because the possibility exists doesn't mean that it is probable or wide-spread. I am sure that people quit wonderful jobs out fear, that doesn't mean that the fear is necessarily justified. It might be, it is usually not. Any time your child is out of your sight there is a risk, even if your child is with family (including your husband, mother or father). Anyone could be an abuser, no matter how well you think you know them.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:50am

On the subject of providers, I'd like to chime in with a similar story. My Nana, who is technically a WOH DC provider, absolutely LOVES the children she watches.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:50am
How in the heck do you pick out shoes for yourself???

I've had people measure my feet. When I was a kid, most shoe stores still did that. We even bought a pair of shoes from Stride Rite once. I watched what they did. I watched what my mother did to me when I was a kid.

I've never known anyone...store clerk or not, go just by the metal thingy.

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