Sneaking purchases...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sneaking purchases...
1291
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:10am

I was reading another board about sneaking purchases past their husband's. I know I use to sneak before we started doing our finances together. I would actually come home during lunch to get the mail or unload packages. I was pitiful. Even now, I will bring things in the house and wince thinking how upset Devin would be with me.


So, have you ever hid purchases or not told your DH the whole picture of your finances? We use to horrible fights about finances. I would do the weekly budget and e-mail him it. We would discuss it and everything was fine. Then, he would tell me two days later that he was doing a marathon that cost $75.00. I had to actually ask him before we did the budget-Do you have any marathons? Do you need shoes? Do you have any equipment you need? Can you tell I

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 12:38pm
I don't buy them without trying them on.

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Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 12:40pm
The more I read your posts the more I am so glad you've joined the board. That was a beautiful post as well as a beautiful tribute to your Nana.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 12:47pm
"Also, don't some European countries go so far as to make spanking a crime (a misdemeanor in US definition)? Do Sweden and/or Switzerland? If so, I think that has to affect this cultural passivity. If so, then it doesn't necessarily mean the people of Sweden and/or Switzerland are just by nature more passive with discipline, it may be a reality that, since it's punishable by fine/imprisonment, let's all just be a little more hands-off in disciplining our children?"

Spanking is illegal in Sweden it is not illegal in Switzerland. I don't think, however, that the law in this case has very much to do with the culturally different attitudes towards children. The Swiss just tend to view the world as dog-eat-dog and focus on getting their children toughened up and agressive from an early age. The Swedish tend to view the world as working best through cooperation and mutual respect. Development children's social skills is a top priority, not only in the early years, but throughout the school years. As for passivity, I guess I never considered not using spanking to be a sign of passivity with discipline. There are plenty of ways to actively discipline without resorting to spanking.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 12:49pm
I think it would be agreeable to most WOHMs if they let their children CIO during their own watch, under their own conditions or even a corporate atty/WOHM whose nanny uses CIO in a manner defined by the generously-paying WOHM. But, in other not so happy situations, there may be a dc provider or 2 out there who IS overwhelmed, unhappy at being underpaid, has too many young children in her home/center, who has too few helpers who may routinely, even daily, resort to CIO under conditions which the WOHM, perhaps a struggling single mom, would not prefer. No one can say that this doesn't happen. And as a SAHM of a real sleep fighter, I can assure you if you didn't have a sleep fighter yourself, that it is possible for someone not as understanding as myself to be driven to such conditions. You will allow that there are some WOHMs who do not have such a happy dc set-up as you? In those situations, I would define CIO as abusive and offensive. Wouldn't you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 12:56pm

You're kind. I consider myself EXTREMELY blessed, to have a WAH job that makes GOOD $$, and a Nana I and my DD love down the street.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 1:01pm

Speaking from a child care provider's perspective I can honestly say that I have loved each and every one of the children that have been in my care (even the most difficult children and believe me, I've had my share over the years).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 1:03pm

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 1:06pm
But she wasn't silent. She'd admitted before this whole episode even started that she worked 10 hrs a month. The WOHMs knew the truth. Any repeated pummeling by the WOHMs was just unnecessary. I believe her repetitions of being a ft SAHM were always in response to the repeated pummeling directed futiley (is that a word?) at getting her to admit what she previously conceded - she works 10 hrs. I'm gonna stick with Funsahms on this point at least that she was attacked unnecessarily.

And, as an outsider, I'm not saying she's a pt WOHM or ft SAHM. I couldn't care less. I'm just saying the repeated jokes that followed were unwarranted. Certainly in a court of law this would never fly, right?!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 1:19pm
and we thank you for the wonderful job you do....

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 1:22pm
The situation you are describing is not "CIO." It's just letting the baby cry and ignoring her/him. CIO done properly is neither neglect nor abuse.

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