Sneaking purchases...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sneaking purchases...
1291
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:10am

I was reading another board about sneaking purchases past their husband's. I know I use to sneak before we started doing our finances together. I would actually come home during lunch to get the mail or unload packages. I was pitiful. Even now, I will bring things in the house and wince thinking how upset Devin would be with me.


So, have you ever hid purchases or not told your DH the whole picture of your finances? We use to horrible fights about finances. I would do the weekly budget and e-mail him it. We would discuss it and everything was fine. Then, he would tell me two days later that he was doing a marathon that cost $75.00. I had to actually ask him before we did the budget-Do you have any marathons? Do you need shoes? Do you have any equipment you need? Can you tell I

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

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Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 8:53pm
Thanks! I think your kids are pretty neat, too. Isn't it amazing how great our kids can come out with such different upbringings? LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:17pm

Thanks Lauren, you said it so much better than I did.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:54pm
And today I could not shove my 2.5 year old's feet into his size 10 Vans. I could've done it without socks but no go with socks, even super thin ones. His cousin who is two weeks younger is still wearing a 4.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:04pm
Ummm...I've been here a long time and I have a pretty good memory. I have not been given the impression that it is conventional wisdom amongst the WOHM contingent on this board that their children would be different were they to SAH instead of WOH.

Can you think of a particular thread where we went down this road before? I'm trying hard to think of instances where posters have agreed with what you are saying and I am coming up blank. (Except for the "My kid would be a lot thinner because we wouldn't have any food" stance.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:52pm
That's not necessarily true.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:57pm
Well, off the top of my head, I can think of a few things. First of all, my eight year old would probably know how to tie his shoes by now. The issue would have probably been forced by now if he was cared for by someone else. He certainly wouldn't have read the amount he has read in his life (which can be both good and bad but I have to think, mostly good.) He wouldn't have potty trained so early because I wouldn't have been able to use cotton diapers. He wouldn't have the intense bonds he has with his siblings with whom he spends a great deal of his time. (Before you say, but isn't he at school all day? Let me say he gets home from school at 2:30 and goes to bed at 9:30 on school nights so he has about six and a half hours a day with siblings (the others go to bed at 9) AFTER school.) My kids would probably have to be a bit more resilent and a bit more responsible if someone else were taking care of them. My third child would probably be much better at drawing and writing because someone at child care would force him to participate in those activities whereas I don't. I let him use his blocks, his Playmobile figures, his little animal figures and his Brio train set to create an elaborate zoo that takes up the whole living room. He does this while dressed in his sister's tutu with an Ariel (bright red) wig and a Tarzan loin cloth underneath. I believe days spent like this are not really comparable to whatever structured activities would be going on at child care (or even with a laid-back nanny--no one can be as laid back as me!) My conclusion is that my children probably have more evolved and elaborate imaginations than if they were not cared for by me (or someone just like me.) My children have a pretty intense relationship with my eighty year old neighbors, a relationship that would be much less intense if they weren't popping in on them two, three, even four times a day. (My 2.5 year old often goes over dressed completely inappropriately for the weather, to tell the neighbors that he's having pancakes for breakfast.) I doubt my two oldest children would have the vocabularies they have. We spent an awful lot of time reading together when they were little. I can remember whole days dedicated to books and music.

I suppose if I WOH, my kids would not be hip to my whole ambivalence about housekeeping. Not sure how that would affect them. Maybe they'd grow up to think I didn't mind housework!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 11:00pm
Ugh I agree... at the hospital they tell you "make sure to put the baby on her back" like one zillion times, but Grace is just like her brother.. does nothing but cry and startle constantly on her back!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 11:05pm
Cal also only wears size 2T clothing. And even those are often too big.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 11:10pm

I've seen it over and over. I have seen, and maybe this is what you're thinking of, instances, lots of them, where WOHMs claim that in the end it makes no difference. In the end, we have responsible, mature, independent, happy young adults, whether we SAH or WOH.


But as to their daily lives? As they're growing up? Yeah, they'd be different. But those different paths lead to the same place.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 12:11am
And with my little guy, we basically skipped the whole 3T stage and went straight to his brother's 4Ts that were lying around. So one of my guys is wearing 4T at 2 1/2 and his 4 1/2 year old brother can wear them too. (He's much taller though and his ankles show!)

What is happening now that is funny is that some people think they are twins.

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