Sneaking purchases...
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| Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:10am |
I was reading another board about sneaking purchases past their husband's. I know I use to sneak before we started doing our finances together. I would actually come home during lunch to get the mail or unload packages. I was pitiful. Even now, I will bring things in the house and wince thinking how upset Devin would be with me.
So, have you ever hid purchases or not told your DH the whole picture of your finances? We use to horrible fights about finances. I would do the weekly budget and e-mail him it. We would discuss it and everything was fine. Then, he would tell me two days later that he was doing a marathon that cost $75.00. I had to actually ask him before we did the budget-Do you have any marathons? Do you need shoes? Do you have any equipment you need? Can you tell I

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I agree - whenever you'd like to debate what is actually written, let's debate. You were the one to bring janitors into the picture (call them "mall" or "hall" or whatever you please). You insulted janitors. I called you on it. Yet, you refuse to acknowledge and withdraw your insult. I just can't debate like that.
No, she didn't insult janitors. Read her other post. I interpreted it pretty much like she explained in her next post. If you didnt, then maybe that shows *your* bias.
She was talking about the *role of teacher* in a chld's lilfe. Not the importance of, or respect due to, mall janitors. Does the mall janitor play a "role" in a kid's life? Well, if said kid hangs out at the mall 24/7, possibly. But otherwise I doubt that mall janitor has a role in the lives of shoppers. He performs an important function, one we'd all be going "eww, this place stinks" without, but that function doesn't involve forming a relationship with the shoppers, the way a teacher/child situation does.
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
But the only love relevant to CARING for children is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. That just doesn't exist - no matter how many WOHMs will group together here to proclaim it! - when childcare is exchanged for money. Teachers and DC providers do not love your chidren. Yes, if I were a dc provider you better believe I'm showing up with my DH at the child's birthday parties, baseball games, maybe even a wedding someday.
Childcare at dc and at school and elsewhere is a whole different animal than any other form of employment. Teachers and dc providers are expected to display care and concern for the child. They are paid to do that very thing! But in the biz world, employees are not paid to care for their colleagues, superiors and subordinates. Childcare and teaching centers on our most precious angels. You better believe that adult makes a good showing in front of the parent. (Hopefully, those efforts continue when the parent exits.) But if for one moment you believe your childcare provider has unconditional love for your babes, try no longer paying her/him and continue to drop your babes off at her/his home, center or have the nanny/babysitter/au pair continue to come to your home to work. That "love" dries up quickly. Can a teacher or dc provider like and care strongly for our babes? Absolutely. They are paid to do that, and hopefully go the extra mile and favor some children who want attention, maybe because deprived of it at home. But, you're reaching if you think they love our kids.
Two more points why I'm completely right: Here and on the Parentsplace.com SAH/WOH Debate Boards is repeated the same sentiment over and over "DC is fine because I don't NEED someone to love my baby the way I love him."
And #2.) over on the Parentsplace SAH/WOH board no one has ever even pretended that their dc providers LOVED their young ones. So why on this board in response to my post have so many WOHMs alleged their dc providers just LOVE their babes? It just doesn't add up!
Phwew! OK, WOHMs, bring it on!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH
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BULLCHIT! Do you really only want your kids to know parental love? There are lots of types of love relevant to children.
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A good teacher and dc provider will actually care and have concer for your child, not just display it. Do you not want your children truly cared for by their teachers? Do you want your child's teacher to just "fake" that concern?
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No one has said its unconditional. Not one of us. You keep throwing in terms like "unconditional" or "like your own child" when none of us claim thats the case. Is that the only way you can try to prove your point? by throwing in issues that none of us are debating?
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No, that's why you're completely wrong. ONCE AGAIN, VERY SLOWLY ... WE DON'T THINK DC PROVIDERS LOVE OUR CHILDREN THE WAY WE DO. THEY DO HAVE GENUINE CARE AND CONCERN FOR THEM AND OFTEN LOVE THEM, BUT ITS NOT THE SAME LOVE AS
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
Hi,
Mondo
The quote you "quote in black and white" distinctly says "dimissal of the role of teachers in your life to something barely above mall janitor". Read it slowly. "the ROLE of teachers in your life" Are you suggesting that the role of janitors in your life is EQUAL to the role teachers played in your life, so to claim teachers play a higher one is an insult to janitors? Is that what you are claiming? Because I feel confident that MOST of us would consider the TEACHERS in our lives played deeper and closer ROLES than the janitors did. Not saying the janitors are bad or worth less...simply the ROLE they played was not the same.
No wonder you don't appear to comprehend read words the way they are written, but insist they mean something else (despite centuries of English rules of grammar that say otherwise). You are so determined to see WOHMs as evil and SAHM as pure that you can't possibly accept any words that say otherwise.
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That's just nothing more than a flat out lie *some* SAHMs MUST believe iin order to justify their choice. Doesn't make it true, but it *is* something they clearly cling to desparately. You aren't the first to pretend it; you won't be the last.
I KNOW it's a lie because if it WEREN'T a lie, John's providers would not STILL have a role in his life, more than a decade since he last needed paid childcare. Is it the SAME role? No, but they have an active, vital LOVING relationship with him that has lasted far beyond the time when they were paid to care for him. Why would they, if they hadn't loved him then?
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Another lie. PP SAH/WOH has existed for more than 8 years, and once upon a time, I posted there and I made the same claim then on that board that I make now on this one. Others from this board have also posted there, once upon a time and can verify that FACT.
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No, that's not proof you're right, that's simply proof of another lie you're telling yourself to justify your choice. I DON'T need my provider...or anyone else, like my Mom, or my Dad or my ex or his wife or my son's paternal grandparents, ALL of whom love John unquestioningly, to love him like *I* love him in order for their love to be sufficient for John's needs emotionally and to nurture him appropriately. I see no reason to say I do need that, when it's not true. I see no reason to pretend that if their love isn't like my love it isn't valid or relevant. Why? Because it's a LIE to pretend that if their love isn't like my love it isn't valid or relevant. LOVE, in whatever form it takes, is relevant, valid and nurturing. shame you can't see it, but truly, it's no skin off my nose if you don't.
But I see no reason to indulge your delusion by agreeing with you.
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