Sneaking purchases...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sneaking purchases...
1291
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:10am

I was reading another board about sneaking purchases past their husband's. I know I use to sneak before we started doing our finances together. I would actually come home during lunch to get the mail or unload packages. I was pitiful. Even now, I will bring things in the house and wince thinking how upset Devin would be with me.


So, have you ever hid purchases or not told your DH the whole picture of your finances? We use to horrible fights about finances. I would do the weekly budget and e-mail him it. We would discuss it and everything was fine. Then, he would tell me two days later that he was doing a marathon that cost $75.00. I had to actually ask him before we did the budget-Do you have any marathons? Do you need shoes? Do you have any equipment you need? Can you tell I

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 11:54am
Here's evidence that your claim about PP SAH/WOH is a lie:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppsahmwohmdb/?msg=4492.9

Eileen clearly claims love given BY the provider to be something she deliberately SEEKS in childcare, and it was posted a month ago.

So much for "over on the Parentsplace SAH/WOH board no one has ever even pretended that their dc providers LOVED their young ones."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 12:50pm
Thanks.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 12:56pm

"But the only love relevant to CARING for children is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE."


I strongly disagree.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 2:32pm

<>


Your opinion and your opinion only, and just because it's YOUR opinion, it certainly in NO WAY makes it true, except for your children and your family.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 4:06pm

I do have feelings for the children I care for that goes beyond my job description.

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 4:47pm
All of that since 1984? Wow.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 6:18pm
Oh dear. Your posts are becoming more and more pathetic. It's sad that some people feel they must put down the lifestyles of some in order to make their own lifestyle choices seem "better." It's amazing that someone who has no experience with childcare providers can assume to have such a broad understanding of how it works as well as the feelings of all involved.

You've proven in your post that you truly don't have a clue about decent, good childcare relationships. You've proven that you're ignorant of what goes on between care providers and children. You've proven that you truly don't understand relationships between people in your comment <> No, we're not paid to care for our colleagues, superiors and subordinates. But many of us are lucky enough to work with such wonderful people that we end up caring about them as we do our own families. It's sad that you don't understand those kinds of relationships because *YOU* are missing out.

I'm thankful that I don't limit my relationships like it seems you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 7:27pm
Again, without knowing anything about me, you're just so sorry that I'm missing out on so much! It's nice that at one and the same time, you've feigned kindness, yet get a dig in about how misfortunate my isolated and lonely existence must be. It's really quite funny.

You may be mistaken why some people post here. I'm here because the comments are so darn entertaining. Contrary to what you believe, I'm not here to prove anything or make myself feel better. Let's see. If I felt bad about being a SAHM and envied these highly cryptic relationships between dc provider and child, wouldn't I simply place my babes in dc? Instead, I apparently come here and cavil with the WOHMs. Yes, I'd have to say you've learned very little about me from my posts and, unfortunately, you assume all SAHMs are militant SAHMs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 7:32pm
How can I be misrepresenting when I have merely quoted your own words? We were all discussing being loved by an adult. Backpedal as you like, but you did let slip an unfortunate and common prejudice in this society.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 7:46pm
You: "No one has said its unconditional. Not one of us. You keep throwing in terms like "unconditional" or "like your own child" when none of us claim thats the case. Is that the only way you can try to prove your point? by throwing in issues that none of us are debating?"

Me: The WOHMs here above in response to my post most certainly did imply that their nannies and dc providers "loved" (that's the word they used) their children. I pointed out that if you truly believe someone accepting money to care for your child or to teach your child actually loves your child, you're setting yourself up for a big disappointment.

You: "THEY DO HAVE GENUINE CARE AND CONCERN FOR THEM AND OFTEN LOVE THEM, BUT ITS NOT THE SAME LOVE AS A PARENT HAS FOR A CHILD. IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE. THE CHILD ALREADY GETS THAT FROM THEIR PARENTS." Me: OK, I'll adopt your definition of a different kind of love - let's forget the term un/conditional. Sure. If they actually loved your children, then try dropping off your child everyday at the dc center/home after saying you're no longer paying for dc. Teachers and dc providers do not love our children. They have lives/children of their own, I would hope. They are paid to do a job.

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