Sneaking purchases...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sneaking purchases...
1291
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:10am

I was reading another board about sneaking purchases past their husband's. I know I use to sneak before we started doing our finances together. I would actually come home during lunch to get the mail or unload packages. I was pitiful. Even now, I will bring things in the house and wince thinking how upset Devin would be with me.


So, have you ever hid purchases or not told your DH the whole picture of your finances? We use to horrible fights about finances. I would do the weekly budget and e-mail him it. We would discuss it and everything was fine. Then, he would tell me two days later that he was doing a marathon that cost $75.00. I had to actually ask him before we did the budget-Do you have any marathons? Do you need shoes? Do you have any equipment you need? Can you tell I

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 11:09am
Please tell us what the differences are in the parent child relationship based on working status. I've been a PTWM and a FTWM to my kids and a SAHM to my step kids. My relationship with my children hasn't changed based on my working status (if anything, working acts as a pressure release valve when working with difficult children as was the case with my step kids). Do you have anything to back up your claims that working status changes the parent child relationship and that those changes are neagive? If anything I think working would improve the parent child relationship. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. Stepping away from a situation can have a rejuvinating effect. Doing anything 24 x 7 can take it's toll even if it's caring for your children whom you dearly love.

I used to belong to a moms group, when I worked PT. One thing that really struck me was the high percentage of SAHM's who seemed desperate to get breaks from their kids. Don't get me wrong, we all need breaks but I would never want to be around my kids so much that I spent as much time as they do trying to get away from their kids. IMO, I'd rather feel like I want more time with my kids than feel I want less. What kind of quality time is it when mommy needs a break?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 11:13am

<<First, there's no better way to understand dc than SAH ft with my 3 children day in and day out.>>


WHAT? That's absurd. There's no better way to understand daycare than to use it. There's not better way to understand SAH than to do it. How can you understand daycare if you've never used it or observed it in action on a regular basis?


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No. But that WOHM knows what kind of experiences her child is getting. She know the kind of love her child is receiving from the providers. She know what that daycare is providing for her. And SAH with 3 kids doesn't consistute caring for a group of children. ITs not an accurate comparison.


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Obviously not. Because you *dont* comprehend the experience most of the WOHMs here have had. Instead, you assume we're either lying or ignoring the truth. You assume you know better than we do, although we are the ones experiencing it on a daily basis. But, yes, of course, you know better because you SAH caring for a group of kids. *sarcasm*


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Nice addition of the word *all* this time. No, not all love our kids. Some are simply good providers. But some, maybe even many, do.


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That's been such a silly argument all 34 times you've made it that I've ignored it. But I 'won't this time. I had a dc provider that offered once to take my kids home, with no pay, during a time xh and I were having trouble finding coverage while we'd both be inroute from various parts of the country. She was wonderful. We ended up not needing her services, but the offer was wonderful.


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I'll tell you whatever I want. I have had dcproviders love my children. Like their own? Nope. But have a depth of emotion equal to a form of love? Sure. You don't have to believe it; they're not your kids. But I really *do* believe it of some providers.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 11:32am
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me too, but i work full-time...with lots of time off as a teacher.

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me too. i would never let work dominate my life. It's just ONE piece of who i am.

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i'm grateful that we've had such wonderful experiences with dc so that the kids could have fun and play while i worked (oh, the horror of it all ) to make ends meet and overlap.

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what a crock? PLEASE tell me you're joking. how hard is it to figure out (obviously such a simple concept seems to be so difficult?) that dc is ONE part of consistency? that the child has PARENTS and a HOME LIFE and EXTENDED family -- and that there are other schedule considerations? How is it so difficult to figure out that yes, even dc children have PARENTS who teach and guide them?

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and we did that with the help of our dcps.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 11:35am
what school aged child goes to school 8 hours per day?
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 11:37am
When I went to visit her (three times) she had 4 kids w/ one who was leaving in January - she told me she only took 5, and through my visits and interviews, I saw that to be true.

When I saw 9 kids there that day when I picked him up, she made an offhand remark that she took on "a couple extra". We never went back.

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 11:55am
sounds to me like you've never had an ADHD child.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 12:07pm
<

I'm sorry that you feel that all the DCPs out there are heartless, money grubbing people who could never truly love their charges. Thank God I *know* different!>>

i thought this was SO good that it NEEDED to be said again.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 12:27pm

Well, objectively, it seems that some providers WILL love their children, and some WON'T?

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 1:18pm

Hi,


I just wanted to tell you, I'm sorry you and your kids went through that. I think a personal experience like that would make me not want to try again.


Some of the ladies at my current provider's house went through

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 4:26pm
Her time will come. it aint smooth sailin' all the way through!! LOL. i just had to laugh, as my kids were very easy when they were young too, but they all discovered they have their own brains, and thats when the challenges kick in. i just giggle when i read posts like that. i want to say, neener, neener, neener, i know something you dont know....LOL.

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