Sneaking purchases...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sneaking purchases...
1291
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:10am

I was reading another board about sneaking purchases past their husband's. I know I use to sneak before we started doing our finances together. I would actually come home during lunch to get the mail or unload packages. I was pitiful. Even now, I will bring things in the house and wince thinking how upset Devin would be with me.


So, have you ever hid purchases or not told your DH the whole picture of your finances? We use to horrible fights about finances. I would do the weekly budget and e-mail him it. We would discuss it and everything was fine. Then, he would tell me two days later that he was doing a marathon that cost $75.00. I had to actually ask him before we did the budget-Do you have any marathons? Do you need shoes? Do you have any equipment you need? Can you tell I

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 5:16pm
I haven't told you to BELIEVE anything. I simply dispute your claim you know anything, particularly since YOUR first venture into this thread acknowledged your complete and utter ignorance on the topic.

You *say* the love will dry up when a child stops going to a provider. Kindly explain why, then, my son's providers showed up for his high school graduation. Kindly explain why my son took his fiancee to meet one of them, and sent engagement notices to the other two. Kindly explain why they have remembered (with cards AND gifts) every birthday he's had AFTER he stopped going there. Kindly explain how any of that occurred if they didn't love him. What did they have to gain by continuing their relationship with him for more than a DECADE if they were only in it for the income? Is this just some huge conspiracy they cooked up 20 years ago so that you'd look foolish on the internet?

It's very interesting...and telling...that you can never seem to address this point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 5:40pm
Absolutely. When John was 18 months or so, I had a case of tonsilitis turn itself into a really raging bad case of meningitis and was flat on my back for a week. My ex was TDY at the time and my parents were out of town dealing with closing out my grandmother's home after she'd had to be put into a nursing home.

My provider took my son to her home and kept him for the full week. She visited me at the hospital, kept my parents informed on my condition and had the fridge stocked with meals and soups for when i got home. She flat out refused to take more than her normal week's wages, although she kindly consented to have dinner with my family after everyone was home so we could all thank them properly. She and her family treated John and me like we were THEIR family.

LTB can dance and spin and twist words and change common definitions, but she can NEVER convince me that my DCP didn't love my son....or me. What she did went so far above and beyond that I could never possibly repay her with money. What she and her family did was LOVE us in as pure and genuine a manner as is possible. Plain and simple.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 7:49pm
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It seems so SIMPLE to me. Well done, Hollie!

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 8:00pm

Ah so it is hearsay, you do not have first hand experience but are validating opinions of others.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 8:23pm
Did you report the violation?
PumpkinAngel

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 9:14pm
Friends for over 20 years? Yes, I can definitely see how she would love your son. I have childhood friends I've known for 20 plus yrs whose children I do love and whom I would raise should anything happen to my friends. In your situation, the dc relationship was obviously a fleeting blip in time, while your friendship with this woman has continued for two decades. Obviously, you've left out a few details. You're not going to say that this is the typical dc provider/WOHP relationship? Kerry and Sweetsah above would disagree.

Also, I find it curious that you didn't mention this in your earlier posts to me. Obviously, you've left out quite a few details in this post.

Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 9:20pm
Yes. We have a reporting system within the state so I called in.
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 9:28pm
But you're the one who said my knowledge is pretty good on the subject! You: "You seem to have quite a bit of knowledge on what occurs and doesn't in a child care setting." This is what you concluded after reading my posts! It's not a big stretch, geez, we're not talking about neurosurgery here.

Also, the only ones with firsthand knowledge on the subject are the dc providers themselves. Not the WOHPs! In fact, if you read Sweetsah's and Kerry's posts below concerning their dc experiences, you will have to agree that it is possible for dc providers to do one thing, but say another. It is quite possible to be deceived by a dc provider, or are you going to claim Sweetsah and Kerry are gullible? I mean, at just that one point in time, Kerry's dc provider was scamming 10 different families - and the State that licensed the woman!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 9:34pm
Sarcasm? Ever hear of it? (that was sarcasm itself, in case you haven't)

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 11:15pm

Why do you keep acknowledging Kerry and Sweetasah's BAD experiences taking those completely at face value and yet you fail to acknowldge ANY of the GOOD experiences that are being reported here? We have given you many examples of good care situations where the DCP loves her kids but you can't seem to acknowledge that?


I don't get it...


As soon as Kerry and Sweetsah posted you believed their anecdotes (and I do too BTW) but all of us with good care situations must be delusional or something...and yet their examples are the "typical DCP relationship" I know TONS of people who use DC and 99.9% of the experiences are good. Why are the negative

 

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