Sneaking purchases...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sneaking purchases...
1291
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:10am

I was reading another board about sneaking purchases past their husband's. I know I use to sneak before we started doing our finances together. I would actually come home during lunch to get the mail or unload packages. I was pitiful. Even now, I will bring things in the house and wince thinking how upset Devin would be with me.


So, have you ever hid purchases or not told your DH the whole picture of your finances? We use to horrible fights about finances. I would do the weekly budget and e-mail him it. We would discuss it and everything was fine. Then, he would tell me two days later that he was doing a marathon that cost $75.00. I had to actually ask him before we did the budget-Do you have any marathons? Do you need shoes? Do you have any equipment you need? Can you tell I

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 10:53am

<>


But why do you always assume that it is a negative effect?

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 10:57am
<> Show me where I've ever put down the role of SAHPs? Go ahead. Find the post. Oh, that's right, you can't because it doesn't exist. It has always been my belief that every family should do what works best for them, not what works best for one. That encompasses a whole range of situations. I don't think that SAH is best for all families, nor do I think WOH is.

<> Where did I say that I know for sure that being home with them instead of WOH would not have been better for my children? I never said that, so stop inventing things you think I may have said. And if I hadn't WOH when my boys were younger we wouldn't have had a home to live in nor would we have had medical insurance or a 401k. And I have no major issues with my skills as a parent (except that maybe I need to be more consistent with punishment). I don't have a clue where you'd get that ridiculous notion. That's just a stupid statement.

<> What denial would that be? The one I didn't make?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:02am

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:04am
Why and how are they better for you having been a sahm?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:05am

<<Doesn't sound like the kind of "love" my child needs in his/her life...>>


Will you feel the same way when your child gets to school and you ask the teacher if they will forfeit their pay and still teach?

PumpkinAngel

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:08am

<>


Are YOU the pot or the kettle?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:18am

Excuse me I have asked you this before and don't see an answer so I will ask again...weren't you the person who stated that the only person who really knew what happened in a daycare was the provider?


So how are you and funsahm in the best position to know what in their heads?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:19am
So you are going to homeschool as well and not put kids in a situation where someone is paying a person to teach and care for your child?
PumpkinAngel

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:19am
>>>And for the record, my dh does not do "the very thing I rail against". In fact my dh does his damndest to afford us the opportunity to raise our children with a parent at home at all times.

-----

You didn't address the fact that he ISN'T home with your kids. He CHOOSES to work, instead of be home with his kids, which IS what you rail against.

>>>Thats EXACTLY why I picked him! (wink wink). Even one better, my dh would quit his job and become a ftsahd if there ever comes a time that I choose to be the sole breadwinner. How's that for supporting our common goal of keeping our children with their parents when they are pre-K?

-----

That is the common goal of keeping your children with a PARENT not PARENTS. There's a big difference. I asked you why he & you don't make more changes so that you can BOTH be with your children those extra 40 hours a week that you believe make such a huge difference?

>>>>We know without a doubt that we can do the best job raising them and teaching them. Others could do an adequate, even good job. But we can do it best. We choose not to settle for adequate, or even good, where our children are concerned. Not when there's a "better" option. That better option for us, is WITH us.

-----

I understand that, and can only agree, since only YOU know what's best for your family when it comes to raising your own children. Again, I'm just wondering why you haven't worked harder to make it possible for BOTH parents to be home with your children, since you are so adamant that children should be home with their parentS pre-K.

>>>>If your "better" option was dc, and not you yourself, then I guess I canot fault you for picking a better option for the kids than the one you could have provided. If that's your scenario, then I suppose we're on the "same side".

------

Nope, my "better" option was waiting to have children until DH & I had built a stable, self sustaining business that we can operate from home, which would allow BOTH of us to be home. This is an ideal, and better solution, for us.

I'm not saying everyone can make this solution happen, but I'm also not faulting anyone else for the way they choose to raise their kids within the lifestyle they've chosen, or the lifestyle they have to live. You ARE faulting other people for making the choices they've made for their families because you believe that your solution is universally the better option. You're also saying if someone doesn't agree with your solution, it is because they believe their parenting skills are somehow lacking. I just don't understand how you can presume to make such broad judgements on others' situations, when you simply don't have the knowledge of anyone elses' life!

***Edited to add "for us"...(you guys all read too fast!!) ;)


Edited 4/6/2004 11:37 am ET ET by iomoon

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:21am

"This is an ideal, and better solution."


AACK - DH and I together, all day, 7 days a week?

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