Sneaking purchases...
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| Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:10am |
I was reading another board about sneaking purchases past their husband's. I know I use to sneak before we started doing our finances together. I would actually come home during lunch to get the mail or unload packages. I was pitiful. Even now, I will bring things in the house and wince thinking how upset Devin would be with me.
So, have you ever hid purchases or not told your DH the whole picture of your finances? We use to horrible fights about finances. I would do the weekly budget and e-mail him it. We would discuss it and everything was fine. Then, he would tell me two days later that he was doing a marathon that cost $75.00. I had to actually ask him before we did the budget-Do you have any marathons? Do you need shoes? Do you have any equipment you need? Can you tell I

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<< I'll wager - and we'll never know, will we, because even WOHPs are not in the heads of the dcp>>
and you as a sahm are even further removed from dcp, so how on earth can you comment on something you have no experience with?
PumpkinAngel
Laura
AACK - DH and I together, all day, 7 days a week? Kill me now!!!!
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You know, as soon as I finished submitting that, I KNEW I should've added "for me" to the end of it...but I wanted to catch up on all the new posts! :-P
ps: yeah, we're a little weird!!!
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OY, it just goes on. can you explain to me this: how is it that i can work 40 hours per week at my job and THAT is full-time AND be HOME with my children 128 HOURS per week (MORE than 3 TIMES that of my job) AND be responsible for their health, social, emotional, educational and religious/spiritual needs and that is NOT full-time? It doesn't even make any sense.
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no, actually, i think it speaks to her confidence in her skills as a parent that she KNOWS, regardless of her work status, how WELL she parents her children.
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i'm sure you can't think of any other reason.
Do you think so little of YOUR parenting skills that you wouldn't be able to raise your children while woh ft?
eileen
Thats what I'm always saying. Those people who can't IMAGINE another human being actually enjoying a job which involved caring for other peoples children, probably don't enjoy caring for their own! It certainly doesn't sound like YOU enjoy caring for your OWN much.
You know - a little advice for you. Any old way you can possibly spend your day as an adult is going to involve some kind of drudgery, by any kind of default drudgery definition. If the busy/messy variety is one of the most distressing varieties for you (and it sounds like it is) - perhaps you need to find a way to spend YOUR day that doesn't involved children 7x24. Yours or anyone elses. Drudgery does not have to equate to a need to be saved by 5 pm. Its a big world, you should be able to find some form of drudgery that suits you, and henceforth, won't cause this kind of stress.
Now, some tips on how to tell if you are invovled in the right kind of drudgery for you. If people come up to you and say things like "WOW! I don't know how you can stand doing what you do with your days!" and your instinctive response is "Huh? What part don't you know how I can stand!" you are involved in drudgery which is right for you. Not that if you stop to think about it, you won't be able to id the drudgery components in question...its just that...well...heck, overall its so enjoyable...whats a little drugery? On the other hand...if you find that you are explaining to others things like "I don't think I could possibly handle this in any kind of extended fashion" (like you just did above) YOU are involved with the wrong kind of drudgery for you. If you have the option, you should try to find a more suitable variety of drudgery.
I don't really think that it's "rare" that providers and children develop a long-term, loving relationship. I'm thinking of my nephews, whose nanny was a retired woman who came to their house and they developed such a strong bond that my 16 year old nephew still goes over to "Fi's" house twice a month to help her with household tasks that she can no longer do for herself. Or my kids and their providers, who are still very fond of each other. When my provider's oldest son was hospitalized after a car crash two years ago the younger two kids and the provider's younger sister stayed at our house for a week until their brother/nephew was out of danger -- it happened to be over Christmas break so I wasn't working. I am sure that if something happened now where I needed some help with the kids, that T. would step in now, for free. The economic reason for our relationship no longer exists, but the bond is still there.
I myself work with kids a lot, on a regular basis. I've taught Sunday School and Vacation Bible School and been a summer camp counselor for kids at my church for over a decade. There's not a kid in that church that I couldn't be become a good caregiver for, if that's where my life path had taken me. The kids would be safe, would learn in my care, would be given age-appropriate stimulation, and lots and lots of affection. That's not a parental relationship nor should it be, but I could provide a safe, happy, loving, stable place for them to be.
That's what I meant by your world being "small" if you can't imagine or understand that a bond doesn't have to be parental in order to be worthwhile, to enhance a child's life, and to serve the needs of the child when the parent is working or otherwise unavailabe.
Neither one of us feels "demeaned" by the profession we've chosen. How very condescending of you to assume that because you wouldn't be good at a job and form loving bonds with your charges, that no one else could or would either.
What facts would that be? I'm assuming that you believe it will *negatively* affect the kids. In what ways?
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