so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 7:09am
I truly admire women like you and Shari who have gotten a college degree on your own.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 7:15am
Right. I'm only speaking of one person. You would never have WOH for 16 years if you hadn't thought it was better for your family. That's why Shari's question was so perfect - how does a mom who SAH year after year for almost a decade claim that SAH wasn't better? LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 7:21am

Thank goodness college in upstate NY a few decades ago was cheap compared to today. And law school today? Fahgeddaboutit!

<> Right, it's called living rent-free. Were utilities and phone included? It's a gift from parent to child after high school. And you accepted that gift. Was it just the one summer? Or other summers during college/law school?

No hand-me down family car? No free trips to/from college from family for holidays? That's just great!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 7:24am
Welcome to the sah/WOH support board!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 7:27am

Hmm, so what does that say about a son whose parents "pay" his room, board and part (all?) tuition and lend him a car for college? Is he irresponsible too?

Isn't that asking family members for help?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 7:30am

Moon Zappa has neglected to mention that she and her DH are paying tuition, room and board for their 2 children for college. Maybe not the full tuition, but something along those lines ~ and it includes every penny you have paid all by yourself for college.

In a parallel universe, women would support each other rather when someone like you makes such great strides without family help. I support you and think you're doing a great job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 7:34am
I think it adds something to the debate when it is acknowledged that not all sahms live paycheck to paycheck. Some sahms are actually doing quite well. ALL of the sahms I know are actually educated women who have made it a priority to raise their children with the expectation that they will also go to college ~ and I believe all are paying for their children's college.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 7:43am

"ALL of the sahms I know are actually educated women who have made it a priority to raise their children with the expectation that they will also go to college ~ and I believe all are paying for their children's college."

As someone who has never known what it's like not to be concerned about money - from child hood to today, as someone who had 10 years of student loans on top of the tiny help my parents could give me, and as someone who had a wonderful educated mom who devoted her life to her classroom andher family -- let me just say that I hope you know I hope you REALLY know how blessed your good fortune has made you -- and while your circle of friends may all have similar circumstances how rare, how REALLY rare that is in a country where the squeeze on the middle class gets tighter adn tighter and I practically have to refinance my house to buy a box of cereal let alone a tank of gas --how your life is so much the exception and not the rule. I think it's great you have such a full comfortable life and can do this for your children, I wish i could say i could pay for Liza's college. I can't. I had to choose to fund my retirement first and try to save a little on the side for Liza when I can. I chose this profession and I chose my life and I love every minute of it -- but your world isn't the norm for most of us -- it's a world so beyond reach for me I can't even fathom it. And That's fine.. ;-)

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 7:47am

<>

yeah I was laughing too when she went on to claim ad nauseum that ALL kids should have a sahp .

no one has said that sah wasn't better for HER.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 7:54am

have you thought that the vast majority of sahms are NOWHERE NEAR your level of financial comfortability????

Carole

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