so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 11:52am
Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 12:04pm
I concede there is huge value in good SAHMing and huge value in good othercare. I just don't think the SAH children will necessarily end up "better" than my children because they will for the most part go to DC. I think children end up with some positives and negatives from SAH and some other positives and negatives from day care. In the end with good parenting and genes children end up pretty much the same. You really can't tell the difference. Do you disagree?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 12:17pm
Not to mention that better for the family is not the same as better for the kids, universally or specifically.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 12:26pm

Very true.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 12:30pm

Yes, very different.

Another difference is that being better for her family and being better for her children are not necessarily the same thing.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 12:30pm
Oh, ha! You beat me to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 4:09pm
I don't think anyone said parenting is about NOT enjoying the moments with your children. I think the conversation was that people don't care if they see their child roll over the very first time they do it. Meaning they will see it later that day. They will enjoy the moment later. When I SAH I missed a few first because I was in the other room. Essentially I think that is what is meant. A lot of people are not hung up on seeing things the very first time. I don't think anyone would ever say they don't need to enjoy moments with thei children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 4:16pm
I have been SAH and WOH.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 4:25pm

I don't think anyone has a problem with how you live your life. The issue is people want to know why you say you don't think it is ok for a mother to work if she WANTS to. At least that is what I would like to know. I have read every single post and I have never seen any reasons directly from you. (Because I think so or it is just better don't really cut it.) This is why people keep asking.

Instead of saying I already answered blah blah blah, why not answer and give your reasons blah blah blah. It wouldn't take much more time. Also, I have asked you direct questions and you have either simply ignored them or it seems given disingenuous answers. For example, you answered me saying you didn't think day care was the problem but you told someone else you think day care is a problem because children get sick more often and end up with more behaviour problems.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 4:36pm

I think I may have figured out our your "logic". Are you basically making a moral judgement of people? If it is ok to work for needs but not things or because you want to for your own personal reasons then logically it cannot be the children you are concerned about. A child will be affected in the same way no matter what the reason is. (The big splashy car and pouring material things on children argument just doesn't hold either. I can see this could affect a child but it is in no way linked soley to WOHP)

I am going to have to conclude that you are making a moral judgement. Me, I leave that to someone of a much much much higher rank than me.

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