so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 7:42pm

ALot of women who work put 100% into their jobs and then have nothing left to give at home."

Really according to whom? Where do you get that 'alott' number? Personally I put 100% into my work -- when I'm at work -- and I expect, and get, the same from my team members who are mothers (and fathers). And when I go home I give *them* 100%. In my experience, its like the old cliche about giving a busy person the job if you want it done. People who multi task well can give 100% in more than one area on a regular basis (just not at the same time -- I can't work and have my kids with me for example).

" I worked when my kids were growing up and I did a lousy job at being a mom when I got home."

Too bad for you and your kids. Same doesnt apply to *any* of the working women I know.

" The TV raised my kids. Now that I am 50 and am raising 4 of my grandkids I stay home and do not woh."

Good for you. But don't project your inability to do both onto "alott" of women.

"Don't complain but continue working because you need to live in that million dollar home."

Righhhht. And that's why "alott" of women work? Get real.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2007
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 8:49pm
You know what I was just stating my view from the time period that I was working and the people that I saw. You seem to be taking this personally and on top of that you are very rude. You can voice your opinion pro or con without offending others. I only stated what I knew to be true in my circle at that period of time. Thats great if you dont know any people like that...bravo. But here's a newsflash...there are people out there who are like that whether you know any or not. So you could always consider posting your opinion with a little kindness.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 9:21pm
Why don't you just list them for me, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 9:23pm
I put 100% into work when I'm at work and 100% into home when I'm home. One doesn't, necessarily detract from the other. In fact, since each is a break from the other, I'm actually better able to give 100% in each place.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 10:14pm

You know what I was just stating my view from the time period that I was working and the people that I saw."

So you should have said that in your experience women *you* knew...not "alott of working women." Which assumes the majority of working women, period, can't handle giving alott at work and at home. All the happy working mothers I know can and do. Many of the working the men I know too. Go figure.

"But here's a newsflash...there are people out there who are like that whether you know any or not."

Too funny. I never said their werent. I just took issue with your gross generalization that "alott" of working women can't seem to get it together at work and at home. Just because *you* couldnt. You were looking through your own lenses big time. Then accuse me of it? LOL.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 10:16pm
You bet. I feel I'm a way better and more balanced parent because I have several great outlets for my energy and passion. My family, my friends, my work, and fitness...
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 10:21pm

Well for one you can clearly multitask and prioritize -- not allowable.
You enjoy your work -- and parenting. Ditto.
And where is your sense of guilt? Your need to be on a pedastool? Have you no shame woman?;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 9:50am
Pedastool? Is that a typo or on purpse? Either way it's damned funny.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 1:16pm

I am sorry that woh did not work for you. Where was your children's father in all of this? I think you are blaming yourself for something BOTH parents contribute.

However, just becaue your anecdotal expereince is what it is does not mean that it can be applied universally. We all have different circumstances in our life that play a roles and singling out one aspect of ones life as the source of the blame doesn't sound right.

"IF you work outside the home you should be able to keep your house, spend time with your kids, go places, help at school and everything else. "

I totally agree - as long as we are talking about ALL parents and not just Mothers. In an ideal world of course. But perhaps we can prohibit parents from going overseas to fight an ill concieved war, or prohibit parents from being pilots or flight attendants or any other job that requires extensive time away from home - like police and fire fighters, doctors, nurses, Senators........

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 2:33pm
On this you and I agree.
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