so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 10:13pm

Just how old are your kids? 3 of mine are grown and out of the house. And, you know what, the most important events in their lives have occured after they became adults. And both dh and I were there for them. All except for the last. Dh couldn't be there for the birth of our 2nd grandchild. I took a week off from work and flew out alone. Yes, the childhood years are important. But no more or less important than any other stage of life.

And just to let you know, I have been a sahm (and homeschooled), a wohm, and a wahm.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 10:17pm

And produced the generation that burned their bras. Peace, Flower Power, and Turn on, tune in, and drop out. Not to mention Haight Asbury, race riots, running to Canada to avoid the draft, Kent State.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 11:56pm
You have brought up a good point that many forget or don't know. Historically there was only a short period of time when most mothers stayed home with their children. Prior to that people were rich and hired a nanny or poor and had to work. Also how recent is it for people to live separately tucked away with their kids instead of being in a village like setting where children are able to interact with many other children? I know everyone makes an effort to get kids together but it is decidedly different.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 12:27am

Oh not the family values card again. Gosh if I had a quarter for every hypocritical politician who used that hyperbole to soap box from.....while simultaneously cheating on his wife, cheating on their own taxes, breaking the law, etc. Too funny.

But anyway -- you are just so right. Women these days. We want to wear pants, we want to work, we just want it all. So selfish. So unfeminine.

NOT.

Now are you really even a female?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 2:52am
Values? Such as serving their husbands, languishing in the burbs popping valiums? How is that setting a good example to your kids?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 4:08am

are you suggesting we're better off NOW than in previous generations? instant gratification,the me entitlement,behavior problems coated by a sleuth of other rx (not always valium anymore) leave little hope of that.




Edited 8/30/2007 4:45 am ET by egd3blessed

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:50am
Now THAT's funny!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:55am
I'll pass too.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 6:23am

But what has created the entitlment behavior problems? Start with raising children as the center of the family instead of as contributing family members. The whole idea of making a big decision like whether or not a parent should work based on what one percieves the kids to want it at the root of the problem. Our kids feel entitled because they were raised that way. We need to get back to making family decisions for the best of the family and expecting kids to be contributing members not catered to.

The worst examples of entitlement in my family are the kids of my MSAHM sister who SAH FOR HER KIDS. When you start making big decisions and feining sacrifice FOR YOUR KIDS, you're sending a strong message that THEY ARE entitled. Don't be surprised when the act the part.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 6:30am

I think a disservice was done to everyone when they romanticized motherhood in the 1950's. Prior to that, no one cared what mom did. She was free to choose what was best. Then the war ended and they had to find a way to get Rosie the rivitor to voluntarily give up her job so a man could have it. So they romanticised motherhood, stigmatized working moms and we're still hearing the echo of this crap.

The next generation burned their bras becuase they saw what had been done to their mothers!!!

My dh is anti SAH because his mom SAH. There is a reason the next generation rebelled and the daughters of these women demanded their rights. The sad part is women still fight equality.

Then there's the whole issue of kids growing up feeing entitled because everything revolves around them. Your kids NEED you home was the messaged when what they wanted was jobs in factories vacated for the men returning from war. Then children became the center of the family. A position they had never occupied before. And then came, turn on, tune in and drop out personal indulgence. Why not? They'd been catered to all their lives. They felt entitled to enjoy life.

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