so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:34pm

Very well said.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:37pm

my opinion is that we're living in a much more materialistic and less responsible society than ever before........that's an attitude problem hence my answer of no,this generation is no better than the ozzie and harriets. ymmv.




Edited 8/30/2007 1:39 pm ET by egd3blessed

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:38pm

You may not realize that one of the heydeys in writing tranquilizer prescriptions for "nerves" in upper and middle class women was in the 1950s. So much so that a bottle of tranquilizers was considered "standard equipment" in a woman's handbag in the time.

Miltown was an infamous tranquilizer used in 1950s America. One advertisement showed a young child with a building block about to smash his mother and then the mother contentedly quiet and smiling after her dose.

Betty Friedan's take: "Thus terrible tiredness took so many women to doctors in the 1950's that one decided to investigate it. He found, surprisingly, that his patients suffering from "housewife's fatigue' slept more than an adult needed to sleep -as much as ten hours a day- and that the actual energy they expended on housework did not tax their capacity. The real problem must be something else, he decided-perhaps boredom. Some doctors told their women patients they must get out of the house for a day, treat themselves to a movie in town. Others prescribed tranquilizers. Many suburban housewives were taking tranquilizers like cough drops. You wake up in the morning, and you feel as if there's no point in going on another day like this. So you take a tranquilizer because it makes you not care so much that it's pointless."

You are probably too young to remember the Rolling Stones' take on it, the 1965 song "Mother's Little Helper." It was a parody, but a parody of a social reality.

What a drag it is getting old
"Kids are different today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day

"Things are different today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag
So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak
And goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day

Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old

"Men just aren't the same today"
I hear ev'ry mother say
They just don't appreciate that you get tired
They're so hard to satisfy, You can tranquilize your mind
So go running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And four help you through the night, help to minimize your plight

Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old

"Life's just much too hard today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
The pusuit of happiness just seems a bore
And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose
No more running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
They just helped you on your way, through your busy dying day.

Modern times have NOTHING on the middle of the 19th century when it comes to pharmeceutical remedies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:42pm

More materialistic? I can give you that.

Less responsible? Nope. Well, maybe, only in that parents tend to wait way too long before giving the centers of their universe -- their precious children -- any responsibility.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:42pm

I totally disagree, kids in the Ozzie and Harriet age were materialistic, they just wanted different things than today's kids.


What do you mean by a less responsible society?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:46pm
i just disagree. sure, there are people who are matrialistic and irresponsible, but there always has been. i had alot more material things growing up than my kids do, not to say my kids are lacking, they just dont get everything they want. i for one am thankful my kids are growing up in this time and not somewhere in the past where their choices and options were limited by their gender or color of their skin. one may not agree with how others live or what they choose to have but that does not translate into materialistic and irresponsible.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:46pm

Woohoo!!

Great post!!

Sue

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:47pm
happiness wasn't what i had in mind wrt "me entitlement". what i meant was the superficial i'm allowed this because i just am. (case in point,habitual poor spenders)..i agree that we are ALL entitled to the element of happiness. but we all do define that differently.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:53pm
Blech. The women in my family have been working for generations. My great-grandmother would be considered a sahm by todays standards yet the woman worked her fanny off trying to help provide for 12 kids. Women, with and without kids, have been working for centuries. It is only recently that women can sah and have the luxury of doing nothing (if they choose, I realize most don't). Women didn't leave the home before because they couldn't-they had to be home to work. My aforementioned great-grandmother wasn't doing all of the child care either. Once her eldest daughter reached a certain age she did alot of the caring for the younger ones.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:55pm

I agree. I was talking about young people who went off to party because their purpose was to enjoy life and they felt entitled to do so and challenged on that.

No one has the righ to stand in the way of anyone else seeking happiness but it's self centered and anti productive to simply head off to the party because your enjoyment is all that's important. Why do you think we have such a problem in this country with drugs and alcohol abuse? MY HAPPINESS is what really matters you see so I'll down a drink or take a pill to achieve it.

I don't know about you, but I think that is wrong. IMO, happiness is learning to be content with what you have. In working to change what you can and accepting what you can't. Not heading off to the party.

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