so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:56pm
Ha! In the 50s my grandmother was both an unwed mother and worked outside the home. She wasn't the only one either. You just have to listen to her tell her stories about the other women on the line (assembly) to know that. Yet if there is one woman who has influenced me the most it is her because of her love of family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2001
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:56pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:56pm
I couldn't even wear crinoline with my wedding gown. I HATE that stuff.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 2:02pm

I don't know about that. It takes a lot of responsibility to earn money to afford those material things and responsibility to maintain them. I'll give you we have more in the way of material posessions but that's just because we have more disposable income. Last time I looked, spending discretionary income on extras was a perk not a bad thing.

And if someone wants to work to have things, that is a form of being responsible. Unless you're talking about someone who is stealing them.

The fact is that we have more time than ever today to do what we want. If someone wants to use their time to earn an income that allows them to have things, what's it to any of the rest of us? That's how they want to spend their life. Why talk down about it?

I really don't care if my neighbor works to afford a great stereo. Perhaps he really enjoys that stereo. It's his choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 2:02pm
I agree mkat, about enjoying life, but when gr8tful mention "entitlement" I took a different perspective. I know many people who feel they are "entitled" to enjoy life, but on someone else's tab. I know people who absolutely refuse to work any more than they have to because they know the government and charities will pay their bills.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 2:03pm
surely you recognize that there are alot of ways to raise kids right. and that in the past that you so idealize that mkat more than likely would not have even had the opportunity to raise her child - that alone makes this a much better time to be living and raising kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 2:07pm
so true. and in the past there were fewer things to want. but according to my grandmother that didnt stop people from wanting and getting the things that were available.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 2:11pm

ITA. Warts and all. No time is/was perfect but I like to think the things we fight to change are actual improvements. People wouldn't fight to change them if they weren't bad to begin with.

Looking fondly back on the good old days (especially good old days you aren't old enough to really remember the details of) is rather silly. People wouldn't have fought to change them if they were that good.

What makes the "good old days" look good is it was polite to only talk about the good stuff. My mother didn't talk about the abuse she took at home. That was a private matter. Between her and my father. Even her preist told her to go home when she first left my father. If you didn't like what you saw, you looked the other way. You could look at any period of time that way and it would come up roses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 2:13pm
the sub prime collapse is evidence of my point. and that's going on with all forms of credit,too not just houses.......it's really hypocritical because dual income earners who assert that it takes two incomes to afford what they *need* nowadays are samples of the mess.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 2:19pm
There are no single income familes who bought homes they couldn't really afford and are now caught up in the subprime mess?

Yeah well, that's just, ya know, like, your opinion, man-The Big Lebowski 

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