so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 3:27pm
30 years ago the children might have been happy, or even happier, in some cases, but what about the SAHMs?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 3:47pm
i won't speak for my mom and other sahms on the happiness element from 30+ years ago because that feeling belong(s) to them. but i do believe children like me and others were happier because times were simpler and rewards/enthusiasm for things wasn't tied to a mighty dollar like it is today. jmo...........i know you've shared your mother's unhappiness before but in all fairness,is that something she actually told you or do you feel you're at a place to assume she was based on your own definiton of happiness? tia.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 3:51pm

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Who are you speaking for here? It surely isn't my kids or me. In fact, ds' enthusiasm for things is tied to the all mighty C12H22O11 -- the sugar molecule. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 3:52pm

Let me be crystal clear: my happiness is just as important as my childrens'.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 4:01pm
Who do you think started the Women's Movement in the 1950s and early 1960s? Bored, unhappy, isolated women of the suburbs, that's who!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 4:02pm

good for you and your dh. if you're trying to address something about moms back then living only for their child's happiness,i think you're wrong. mom had her bowling league,dad had/has his poker. they went out together and we had a babysitter whom i disliked too,lol. but we didn't have extra "things" which is huge today.......and honestly,i do feel like i deprive my kids sometimes of happiness because i feel it's being measured to the friend who has the fancy cell phone (insert psp,other fancy "thing"). i won't buy into that and hope one day,my kids can understand why just like i learned,too.

p.s. all the sahms i know do return to woh to some capacity after their kids start school or,through the years,i watched some form moms groups at church....i don't believe either is evidence they're doing it to find a happiness that was lost sah,though.




Edited 8/30/2007 4:35 pm ET by egd3blessed

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 4:18pm
that is just silly. we have lived in our house for only 4 years and if we had to buy it today there is no way we could afford it on one income yet there is no way we could live in a smaller house. if we had to buy any house big enough for our family in todays market we would need two incomes. the simple fact is some people do require two incomes to purchase a home, that doesnt make them part of any mess, it makes them in the majority.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 4:25pm
30ish Years ago we were knee deep in SALT talks. Yeah, I want to go back to fearing Ruskies and the start of a nuclear war. Inflation AND interest rates were double digits. Boy those were great times. NOT. And no great music to fall back upon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 4:36pm

I doubt you have seen the movie "Maxed Out". Watch it.

One of the points in the movie is that it's the NECESSITIES that are wiping families out these days..not the WANTS, as you and others like you seem to think. The majority of families NEED two incomes to survive.

I think any woman who *wants* to sah and is fortunate enough to do so and live comfortably in the meantime, should thank their lucky stars that they have someone who can foot the bill for them.

Sue




Edited 8/30/2007 4:42 pm ET by srmagoo
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:12pm

<<but i do believe children like me and others were happier because times were simpler and rewards/enthusiasm for things wasn't tied to a mighty dollar like it is today. >>


You tie rewards/enthusiasm to money with your kids?


PumpkinAngel

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