so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:14pm

For my kids, their passion is sports.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:25pm

Look all I know is that I've more than been through my fire -- starting with when my grandfater droppeddead on me when I was 14 -- (now THAT's a good party story) -- and after going through three deaths, a divorce, a coming out, a move and a job change in a 2 year period I've done my time in the trenches -- I'm enjoying anything life throws at me now -- good or bad and taking it all with humor (and sarcasm of course) and joy and fun b/c having watched three women I love die in their 40s and early 50s I learned that there are no guarantees and you better laugh love and live today b/c there may not be a tomorrow.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 6:42pm
I agree. As the mother of a 24, 22 and 18 year old I know a lot of kids in the mid teen to mid 20s range and very few bad apples in the bunch.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 6:50pm
I feel I am better off than my mother's generation my grandmother's and on and on. Particularly I feel better off than my great great grandmother's generation which is when my family was attacked by the English and cleared off the Scottish Highlands. Also none of the things you mentioned have any impact on my daily life. Still I would rather that than being raped and pillaged.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 6:51pm

"but i do believe children like me and others were happier because times were simpler and rewards/enthusiasm for things wasn't tied to a mighty dollar like it is today."

I am often left wondering by some of your posts like this one -- "WHAT KIND OF COMMUNITY ARE YOU LIVING IN?' I don't know one 'real' family that operates like this, truly, the families I know well through Liza's school or her soccer team or her acting stuidio are all working hard, have good solid values, and are raising great kids. I feel like there's this great disconnect between what you 'think' other families put a value on and what the reality of most of us is. I work SO hard..I can't even begin to tell you sometimes just to keep it all together and I'm not even close to he most hardworkign parents I know. Today in the pick up line for school (afterschool doesn't start until next week) I was chatting with two of Liza's best friends' moms -- delightful women, both with good jobs, and we talked with pride about our daughters, how funny they are, one of the women is married to a police detective who can retire at 45 if he wants - we talked of how we longed for the day we could retire but that we are scared of what that will mean to our family finances and how that day seems an eternity away, we talked of how tired we are some days but how our kids always seem to lift our spirits, we laughed about how our kids all do similar things around the house, we talked about tryign to fit in a workout or a yoga class, or read a book, but not once did we talk about who bought what, who went where, what kind of houses we have or what kind of cars we drive. And honestly I can count on one hand and not use all my fingers the number of times I have a conversation that is focused on material gain or acquisition.

it may be the reality where you live but it certainly isn't mine.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 7:52pm
... and taxes, of course.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 8:05pm
But what makes you think that this is a recent phenomenon?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 8:14pm

we'll be at the y and dd1 will see a cell phone she likes. "mom,see that one with the sparkle decorations? that's what i want.." kids her age walking around iwht them are for show. and that coupled with a couple friends who have flat out told me that they buy their kids cell phones,personal play station thingys and other fun gadgets because they've earned them (good grades,as an end of summer and kick start to school year gift. yes. wtf?) make me cringe. but actually it was worse in the area we used to live than here......i'm not going to apologize for seeing it the way i do.




Edited 8/30/2007 8:18 pm ET by egd3blessed

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 8:24pm
No they aren't. Victims of predatory lending aren't more likely to be dual income families. People who use credit unwisely aren't more likely to be dual income. And people who are bad with money are not a new phenomenon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 8:49pm

In the late 70s? What?!

If you mean the 50s and early 60s... no, it didn't matter more back then. The SAHP was the norm because it was practically enforced. It doesn't mean it was better. And we didn't have the same type of credit issues because credit didn't exist back then like it does today. People still made stupid financial decisions. The issues were just different. The same horrible things that happen today, happened then. Although it's my opinion that sexual abuse of children happened a LOT more back then.

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