so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 1:30am

We must have vastly different definitions of enjoyment then. Going out and partying isn't my idea of enjoyment of life. And the kids you described, I don't know at all.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 1:33am

>i guess it doesnt make for good news and tends to upset the stereotypical applecart of people who want to believe we live in such awful times.<

Just goes to show you that things really haven't changed at all. Socrates didn't think much of the next generation either.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 1:34am

I agree.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 1:42am

Ah, but imo, they might feel that they are "entitled to enjoy life" but they rarely are actually enjoying life. Something or someone is always preventing them from the enjoyment that they see others getting out of life. Those who take rarely (if at all) really enjoy life. Those who give will always fine enjoyment in life.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 1:49am

Can I add some? Enjoying life is taking care of clients who you know won't be here next year or even next month. Enjoying life is knowing that you helped create the wedding gown of a bride's dream even though she's on a very small budget. Enjoying life is watching your son ride his bike to school by himself for the first time. And sending your youngest dd off to live on her own. Enjoyment of life made up of some very small and seemingly insignificant events that mean nothing to anyone except you as well as big major world-altering events.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 2:09am

Dylan has friends who have cell phones, TVs and playstations and computers in their rooms. And you know what, that still doesn't mean that Dylan can have them. He will have to wait until he is old enough to get a job, save up the money, and buy them for himself. Barring any any major changes in dh's and my thinking between now and then. I will not say "never". What other parents allow for their kids has no bearing on what we allow our kids. "Everyone has (insert current fad here)" will get an automatic "no" in this family. As my dad used to say "if everyone was jumping off the bridge, you'd want to to?"

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 4:43am

We don't really know anyone like that, and dd is very modest in her requests. When she was about 10, she really liked playstations. Someone gave her a present of money, more than enough to buy one for herself. I told her it was her money and that she could do what she wanted with it.

After thinking it over for several weeks, she decided against the playstation. She did not think it was worth the money and she had also decided that it seemed so fun mainly because she did not have one at home. So, she figured if she had one available all the time, she would be without the money and the thrill of playing on one when visting friends.

Right now she is enamored with the iPhone. She loves Apple products and she loves well designed gadgets. However, she would never dream of asking me to buy her one, nor would she expect it even as a present. Once it is available here, she may decide to save up for it herself, but that is her business.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 5:53am
Wait. Since the 1950s, the divorce rate in America has hit record high levels. In the 50s, many would stay together for the sake of the kids. Divorce was uncommon. Now, I can't imagine anyone would stay together for the kids. How is this huge increase in divorce anything but a very strong example that you're mistaken - people don't put their children first today?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 7:05am
Where were

Yeah well, that's just, ya know, like, your opinion, man-The Big Lebowski 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 7:13am
I worked my way through college too. I worked beyond fulltime and still managed to maintain a high GPA and have some fun too. I don't want my dds to have to worry about money like I did though. Sometimes, I only had enough money to eat ramen noodles for a week at a time.

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