so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

Pages

Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 2:55pm

It's the same in our school district. And really, if the schools are doing a decent job teaching all year long, there should be no need for a month long cram session. It's like sleeping through the semester and then staying up all night studying for the final exam so you don't fail.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 2:55pm

<>


Does this idea have any factual support or is it just an assumption on your part?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 2:58pm

<<The parent of the child in need of Special Ed finds Special Ed to be a stigma and is disappointed the child is not in a Gifted program. >>


Is this a personal experience?

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 2:58pm

So you're saying that there are parents out there with a child in need of special ed who mistakenly think he's gifted? Of course, there are twice exceptional children, but to mistake a child with just LDs as gifted seems pretty far fetched.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 2:58pm

My father really wanted her to be AH to continue to take care of him and the household.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 3:00pm
I disagreed with you and offered my thoughts on the topic. Not irrelevant and not assuming anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 3:01pm

Exactly.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 3:15pm

<>

And women THEN were issued alimony in a divorce and it lasted until remarriage. Today, alimony is awarded only rarely and only for a short, short duration.

<>

That's nice in theory, but not so in reality. Explain how a divorced sahm today proves that she was discriminated against *in hiring*! What evidence could she possibly have?

I'll allow that a divorced mother has a possible chance of winning a Title VII claim for either 1.) failure to promote or 2.) termination of employment. Either way - then or now - this divorced woman better have a job in place. You're not talking about sahms. That's the reality.

And after a woman sues under Title VII, she might just as well forget about any employer hiring her thereafter (but you appear more concerned with theory than reality). That better be some meritorious Title VII claim she sued/sues under whether in 1964 or today, lol!

It's lovely that you can go off on a Title VII tangent.

You've still failed to address my completely-non-Title-VII-point that parents today are no more child-focused than parents were THEN. One example being that parents no longer stay together *solely for the sake of the children.* How Title VII was even arguably relevant, I just don't know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 3:17pm
Sorry, you're talking to the wrong person. I love anecdotal evidence. Often it's the most reliable. What do you rely on ~ statistics, studies? LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 3:27pm

My mother returned to college when we were all in school. Do you really think jobs which allow for a lot of internet time each day are any more intellectually stimulating than SAH?

I'm just thinking about how a SAHP lives day after day SAH when he/she doesn't want to. That was brought up the other day on this board and in your post too.

I mean, when someone stays home for years and years ~ decades even ~ and all of the children are in school for 8 hours/day, does he/she still hate the idea of pouring an extra cup of coffee and opening the newspaper as the school bus drives away? An hour later after doing a few chores and managing the household, does he/she hate going to her Yoga/Pilates class/book club/gardening group? Does he/she hate his/her 2 leisurely trips to an uncrowded grocery store or fish market each week? Does he/she still absolutely hate turning on the tv/opening a book/picking up his/her paintbrush and easel at, say, 1 pm every day, which is hours before the children are due home from school?

Having my children in school/preschool now and being a SAHM for 8 years, I simply don't get where in the many hours each day that this SAHP has alone to him/herself that he/she doesn't just shout, "I hate all of this leisure, get me the Classifieds, Stat!" I just don't see it.

Pages