so sick of hearing....
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so sick of hearing....
| Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm |
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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Being a SAHM does not mean that you will catch every milestone.
Being a WOHM does not mean that you will miss every milstone. Where is it writtten that milstones are only allowed to happen during a typical work week?
I was a SAHM, my DH a WOHD, some milstones I saw first, others he did. Don't see what difference it makes.
Why does "missing milestones" always come up? It's such a fallacy. Any parent can miss a milestone. Their first laugh is just as likely to be at the cat whil mommy is outo f the room. Their first steps may take place while mom is in the shower. Their first word may be while dad is out playing softball.
No one EVER knows when baby's true firsts are. What they know, and cherish, are the first time the parent sees that act. So what if my child's first laugh was while I was at work or while dad was at church or mom was peeing ... the first time *I* see it is the first time for me. And that is what's special. And moms will have that first whether they WOH or SAH.
Same here. And sometimes it the siblings who see the milestone first. And you know, they are just as thrilled to show it to mom or dad the second time or the 200th time. It didn't matter what number it was, it was still "first" for me. But 29 years later, the "firsts" that I remember most are the ones 0-5, but the later ones: Erica running for 9th grade class president, Joy's wedding, etc.
Chris
The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett
Side question: Why is witnessing milestones worth anything? I've never gotten this.
I may have seen dd#1's first steps and I may not have. What difference does it make? The first time I was her walk was still exciting. What changes if I did/did not see the firsts?
IMO, what matters is that my kids achieve their milestones not who witnesses them. Can you explain to me what the value of seeing them yourself is? IMO, that and $2.50 will get you a coffee at Starbucks. While exciting at the time, it's meaningless in the big scope of things. I see absolutely no difference between knowing I saw a first, not knowing whether I saw it and knowing someone else saw it. Nothing changes.
I am puzzled by the missing milestones arguement too. I have no clue what I witnessed and what I didn't and can't for the life of me figure out why it makes a difference.
The first time I saw something was exciting and fun and then we moved on to the next milestone. It never dawned on me that missint THE first one should be any kind of issue. That my dd's had those first ones was what counted.
*Sigh*
"When I ask a WM that question, I am meaning, how do you drop your kids off everyday and miss all of their milestones. Cause that is worth more to me than building my career."
first of all the first time *I*saw my dd do anything WAS the milestone. I could care less if someone else saw her do it first-- I was just happy she DID it and that eventually I SAW it. She's 8 now and the only first that really stands out was her first word (and mostly b/c she hasn't stopped talking since). But the point is that honestly I have a career I love, a siginficant statewide reputation, and a full rich life and I wasn't going to give that up just in the 'hopes' i'd be the first one to see her crawl or walk. I could have stayed home for years and she would have crawled for her dad the minute I went to the bathroom or something.
those firsts don't really matter to me or to her frankly. I'd rather think about the bigger ones, the first time she asked my advice, the first time I saw her dance on stage, the first time she got a major speaking role in a show or her first solo, the first time she slept at a friends house..and I haven't even scratched the surface yet - she's only 8 -- the BIG firsts are alls till to come!
I dropped my dd off every day for 5 years at daycare and continue to drop her off at school each day and I always knew she was in for a great day.
Yes. We. Did.
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