so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 6:45pm

Lol, I certainly would! Even if the child doesn't remember a moment of it, lol.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 6:59pm
Two very good reasons to work. For most of us, future security rests in working now. That is as, if not more, important than extra income at the moment. The older we get, the harder it is to make up for lost time in the work force. If you have the financial resources not to have to worry about such things, great but you can't count on being able to make up for lost time later. There are lots of IFs to later.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 7:04pm

Have you looked at the cost of education these days? This is unrealistic. The days of being able to work your way through school are quickly fading. Loans can be crippling to a young person just starting out. Do you really think it's fair to saddle your kids with that burden?

My children's educations will be nearly fully funded. Yes, I will expect them to contribute but I will expect a reasonable amount that doesn't leave them in debt up to their ears when they graduate. IMO, to do otherwise is to fail to prepare them for life. They don't need debt to start out with. It's hard enough starting out with nothing let alone less than nothing.

FTR, my parents did not pay my way through school. As a result, I didn't set foot in a college classroom until I was 25 and the only reason I finished is I recieved a full scholarship when I transferred from community college to a 4 year university. I'm one of the lucky ones who made it without my parents help but I am fully aware that there are many more who didn't make it because they had no help. It was hard to pay your way in my day. It's near impossible now without taking on crushing debt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 7:13pm

SO? and is a week ONLY from M-F? What about Sat. & Sunday? Holidays? Vacations?

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2004
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 7:46pm
In my area, even the ritzy only pay about $200 K
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 7:55pm

It is not selfish to work at all. The only way it would be would be if having a SAHM imparted something to children that a WM cannot. Since our kids don't turn out differently based on our working status but do based on income differences, I'd venture to say that it's more likely that SAH is selfish if it costs the family financially.

Personally, I think people say things like this just to asuage their own guilt for not working when they know they should be. If I call you selfish for working then I don't have to feel bad about what my family does without or risks in order for me to avoid working. It's not like SAH actually accomplishes something WOH cannot. You just don't see different results based on our working status.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 7:56pm
And since when do the children make the decisions WRT what is best for the family? I shudder to think what our lives would be like if I let the kids make the decisions, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 7:57pm

"Except those years cannot be the years between 11-14"

I have a 12 year old. I think time is standing still....seems like at least two years since her last birthday. Why couldn't time have stopped when she was little and full of hugs?

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 8:27pm

Of course he doesn't stop being a father while he is at work, HE made the comment that he is a part time parent, his job of taking care of the children is not full time."

Oh so now its on him? So you dont view working parents as part time parents? You are totally inconsistent.

A parent doesnt have to be with their child 24/7 to be a full time parent.

When your kids are in school will you be a part time parent?

Oye vey.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 8:29pm

Then if its your choice, why bring your childrens alleged POV into the debate? If its not a factor, as you now claim, why mention it?

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