so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 8:32pm

They will accept what I decide yes, but it doesn't mean they prefer it."

Well my kids would prefer to watch videos while eating ice cream in the living room. They'd prefer to be allowed into the pool on their own. They'd prefer to wear their pajamas and slippers to preschool. I don't allow it, and it doesnt *matter* if they'd prefer to or not. I'm there to be their parent, not their best friend.

"Once again I never said that being a mother or father is part time. Yes my job of taking care of the children all day will become part time."

See I disagree. I'm never a part time parent. I'm a mom -- I'm their mom -- period. Interesting that you think you'll be part time once they are in school yet none of the WOHP's seem to think that at all.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 8:34pm

Did I say I was? I'm a full time parent, and I work full time. Amazingly -- I'm capable of both. Amazingly, most working parents are too. Go figure.

We have a SAHP -- my DH -- but he doesnt feel like he's *the* "full time parent" anymore than I feel I'm part time. We both raise our children. We are both parents all the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 9:16pm

I'd love to see someone actually explain why a certain number of hours is ok but one more is not, lol. There is no magic cut off point. I'm not sure there even is a number of hours where good day care becomes harmful. If care is good, it shouldn't matter how many hours you use it. While you may be left with minimal hours as a parent, the truth is we are all influenced by people who had minimal time with us, like grand parents and aunts and uncles and sunday school teachers.

It's funny. When I look back at my child hood, I have all these memories of being with grandma yet I know I only saw her a couple of times a month. For some reason my time with her stands out in spite of there not being a lot of it. Ditto for time with my father who I saw on Sunday's. You would think I'd have WAY MORE memories of my mother who I lived with. I do have more but not that much more. I saw my father more than grandma but grandma was a bigger influence on me. Almost as big as my mom who I lived with. I'm not sure what it is but it's not an hours game.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 9:46pm
ITA. While those days have been glamorized, they were anything but glamorous. Women were more like property than partners. I'm glad those days are gone. Lord help my dh if he ever tries to take over this household. He might not live long.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 9:49pm
No, it's because the militants always want to say that the time the kid is sleeping at home doesn't count, but the time they are sleeping at dc does. Of course, they also hate it when the time they are with their kids isn't much more when naptime gets taken out. So they usually concede that sleeping time counts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 9:56pm
ROFL... No guilt, sorry honey. It's a much more practical reason than that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 9:57pm

Wow, I admire that.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 10:02pm
So I'm guessing SAH is a lot more doable in your area.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 10:14pm

:)

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 12:11am

My point is that it doesn't necessarily affect the parent/child relationship. Is your point that the "math" of how many hours you spend with your child does affect the relationship? It is pretty obvious that a SAHP has more opportunity to spend more hours per week with their kids. What I want to know is, why do you argue with the "numbers" if it truly doesn't make any difference?

Robin

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